POST CO
I
nodded,
, my throat too tight to speak. This was the punishm
punishment K=as had chosen.
“But I won’t do that Elowen,” Frost said suddenly, his tone softening I would never treat you like that person you need right now.”
Frost stepped aside, and the last person I expected to see walked through the door–my mother.
that, so I brought along the one
She looked different somehow. Still the same silver–streaked dark hair, the same warm brown eyes that matched my own, but there was something softer in her expression. Something I hadn’t seen since before all this began.
“I would give you both some space, Frost said quietly, backing toware the door.
The room felt too small as soon as he left. I crossed my arms over my chest, creating a barrier between us. After our last conversation, after the harsh words we’d exchanged, I wasn’t sure I had anything left to say to her.
“Are you here to give me some more lectures, mom?” I asked, unable to keep the bitterness from my voice. “There’s nothing you say that would change the decision I had already made, so maybe you could make this easy for the both of us and leave.”
She didn’t rise to my provocation. Instead, she stayed by the door, her hands clasped before her like she was unsure what to do with them. “Will you at least hear me out?”
turned toward the window, staring out at the night sky. Stars sparkled overhead, distant and indifferent to the chaos of our lives below. “Depends on what you have to say, mother, if it’s along the lines of he is too dangerous for you or your very favorite, a life of slavery back in our pack is better than a life here, then I’m sorry–but not so sorry, I wouldn’t be interested in…”
“I am here to apologize,” she interrupted, her voice quiet but steady
That made me turn around. My mother didn’t apologize. Not ever. She gave advice, she scolded, she protected–but she didn’t admit,
fault. Not to me, not to anyone.
She took my silence as permission to continue. “I had been so mad and angry at you, even if I knew you had no fault in it; I should have tried communicating with you better; I should have made you understand, but I had just expected you to know, and when you didn’t understand things from my perspective, I turned against you to. You aren’t at fault; life has put us in this situation.”
in the defensive edge
“It is not a situation, mother; it is my life, that crept into my voice.
this is what it is going to look like for a while.” I couldn’t help the
She took a step closer, her eyes searching mine. “There are things going on here–things you do not know about, things he is not willing to tell you…”
“That’s because I do not care to know; I don’t need to know,” I cut her off. Then, before I could think better of it, added, I know Kaius is not a very good man, but he loves me.
The lie tasted strange on my tongue.
cause you pain,” she said, ignoring my false claim about Kaius’s feelings. ‘I love you, and you know it.”
“I did not mean
an to ca
“The same monster you prefer me to go back with rather than stay here? I couldn’t help throwing Dorian back in her fact reminding her that she’d suggested returning to his abuse would be better than staying with Kalus
Her expression hardened. “Do not compare me to the monster, Elowe
mother–really looked at her for the first time since
entered the room. There were new lines around her eyes, new silver threads in her dark hair. This ordeal had aged her, just as it had aged me.
“This is not why I am here, she continued when I didn’t respond. 1m here to apologize for everything. I know you had done all this for me; you wanted us happy, and it is not your fault. I am sorry Elwen: please forgive me.”
I shook my head, suspicion making me wary, “You lie, mother. You come here asking for my forgiveness, but at least try to look real. I know you, mother, and I know you mean nothing of what you just said.”
Pain flashed across her face–real pain that made me regret my words even as I spoke them. “I just want to have my daughter back, she said, her voice breaking slightly.
Something inside me cracked at those words, How many nights hot awake wishing for my mother’s support? How many times had I needed her comfort only to face her judgment instead?
“And I want to have my mother back too,” I admitted, the words barily audible. “But everything you’ve shown me is a far cry from the mother I knew. You abandoned me; at the time, I needed you the most, and yet you refused to tell me why–why are you against all this? I feel like there is something more you aren’t telling me…“
She crossed the room slowly, stopping just short of touching me. “There is nothing more than what you already know and that’s why I wanted to keep you away from him. It is no secret that I do not want you with him. But I am not going to stop you. I only ask that you give me a chance, that you spare some of your time so we could talk as we did before. What I hate more than anything is the rift this has put between us.”
Lstudied her face, looking for signs of deception. There was something she wasn’t telling me I was sure of it. But there was also genuine pain in her eyes, genuine regret.
The silence stretched between us, filled with all the things we’d never said, all the hurts we’d never addressed. We had both been stubborn, both been wrong in our own ways,
“We forget everything, and we move on,” I said finally. “You won’t keep reminding me of the dangerous decisions T you know this is my only choice.”
ade because
She nodded, accepting my terms without argument. I expected to feel triumphant, but all I felt was tired. So tired of fighting, of defending my choices, of pushing away the only family I had left.
Chapter Comments
LIKE
