It Will Never Be
I fold another sweater and shove it into the cardboard box in front of me, not bothering to
keep it neat.
It will be a pain to dig through the box and figure out where everything is, but I don’t
care.
Mother hums to herself as she walks down the hallway from her room to the hallway bathroom. She seems to be unbothered by the chaotic mess.
Clothes, books and random things are scattered everywhere, all over the floor.
I roll my eyes and peek my head out of my bedroom. “Are you expecting me to clean up
all this mess?”
Mother stops with her shampoo in her hands, frowning. “Of course not. Jake is hiring a cleaning company to take care of everything we leave behind. Just take what you want.”
“How can you be so calm about this?” I ask.
She shrugs, walking toward her room again. “I’m ready to start this new chapter of our
lives.”
A new chapter. Yeah right. Something tells me nothing is going to change except our living situation. “Does Jake know you’re an alcoholic?”
She gasps, jaw dropped. “Don’t be so dramatic. So, I like to finish my day off with a glass
of wine, that doesn’t make me an alcoholic, Alina.”
I sneer at her. She says it’s a glass of wine, but it’s more like bottles. With an s.
Moving into Jake’s house feels more like stepping into a twisted version of my life than
any kind of fresh start, and dread fills me up to the brim.
Mother didn’t even listen to me when I told her that I could keep living here and she could live with Jake and the guys. She told me that was ridiculous, too.
The wedding is tomorrow, and tonight is the rehearsal dinner. I don’t know what’s worse: pretending everything is fine or knowing I’ll be living under the same roof as Jake by the
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end of the day.
My chest tightens as I think about our conversation yesterday. His confession that he’s marrying my mother just to be close to me.
Fuck.
There was a part of me that wanted to be flattered at that. That he wanted me under the
same roof as him. The larger part of me was absolutely disgusted with him.
Maybe Aiden and I could get a place together, move out and…
And what?
Do I see a future with him?
I don’t.
But Aiden’s fun. He makes me feel normal; he makes me forget.
I shake the thoughts away and shove another handful of clothes into the box.
“I think I’m done here,” mother says as she walks to the living room with a box in her
hands.
None of the furniture is coming, so the packing is quick. Jake’s house is fully furnished, and I’m sure he does not want the style ruined by our secondhand things.
We load the last of the boxes into the car, my stomach churning as I slide into the
passenger seat.
The ride to Jake’s house is silent, my nerves eating me up too much to let me speak. Not that I have anything I want to talk to mother about.
When we pull up, Jake is waiting for us outside. His tall frame leans casually against the doorframe, but his eyes are anything but relaxed. They’re locked on me, intense and burning, and I can’t help the way my heart skips a beat.
“Alina,” he says, his voice low as I step out of the car.
I look away, my pulse racing. His words from yesterday echo in my head: If it’s the only
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way I’ll get to see you.
I hate him for saying it, for putting me in this position. And yet, I can’t stop the wild flutter in my chest whenever he looks at me, when I remember his touch.
Jake helps carry our boxes inside, leading the way to my new room. My mother follows close behind, chattering about how nice everything is.
“This will be your room,” Jake says, opening the door.
I step inside, my eyes immediately scanning the space. It’s clean and impersonal, with a bed, a small desk for schoolwork, and a vanity tucked in the corner. There’s no bathroom. The realization that I’ll have to share with Aiden and Zaid hits me like a brick.
My room is sandwiched right between theirs.
“Is there another room?” I ask before I can stop myself.
My mother whirls on me, her tone sharp. “Alina, don’t be rude. You should be grateful you have your own room.”
I bite my tongue, glaring at the floor. Grateful? Grateful for what? That I’ve been uprooted and shoved into this house to play happy family with Jake? With Aiden and
Zaid?
I set my box down on the bed, letting out a sigh. The mattress is too perfect, the furniture too polished. Nothing about this room feels like mine.
The door creaks open behind me, and I turn to see Aiden stepping in. He smiles softly, his expression easing some of the tension knotting my shoulders.
“Hey,” he says, leaning against the doorframe.
“Hey,” I reply.
“You okay?” he asks, his eyes scanning my face.
I nod as I crinkle my nose. “Just… adjusting.”
He steps closer, his presence warm and comforting in a way I desperately need. “It’s
weird, I know.”
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We plop down on the bed beside each other, and he presses a kiss to my shoulder.
I blow out a stream of air. “Really weird.”
He smiles against my skin. “You can always stay in my room.”
I cup his cheek, smiling as I bite my lip. “You won’t get tired of me?”
“Nope.”
We stay like that for a bit and then he gives me one last smile before heading back to his room, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I sit on the edge of the bed, staring at the box I’ve barely unpacked.
This isn’t home. It will never be.
