Fix It
I stare out of the window into the backyard, the mess from last night mostly gone.
The pan sizzles and I snap out of my thoughts.
“Shit,” I whisper to myself, grimacing as I salvage the eggs before they burn.
My mind has been a chaotic mess. Even my dreams seemed too real last night.
I dreamed of a car and a crash. Of Zaid in handcuffs and Aiden just watching.
I slide a piece of bread into the toaster, my mind racing with questions I don’t know if I
want the answers to.
The soft creak of the stairs makes my heart jolt. I don’t have to turn around to know it’s
Aiden. His footsteps are slower than usual, hesitant, almost apologetic.
“Morning,” he says, his voice quiet and heavy with sleep.
“Morning,” I reply, my tone neutral, my focus fixed on the egg as it bubbles in the pan.
I feel him behind me before he touches me, his arms wrapping around my waist, pulling
me into his chest. His warmth is familiar, and for a moment, I let myself lean into it,
closing my eyes.
“Do you hate me now?” he asks softly, his voice trembling just enough to make me flinch.
I shake my head, opening my eyes and focusing on the stovetop.
“I don’t know,” I admit.
He tenses behind me and retreats just a bit.
“I’m confused. Angry. But I want to hear your side.”
He exhales a shaky breath, his arms loosening slightly. “Okay. Yeah, okay. Let’s talk.”
I slide the egg onto a plate, grabbing my toast from the toaster before following him to the living room.
1/4
Fix it
Aiden sits on the couch, his eyes wary. His pupils follow me, his lips in a frown, his hands shaking beside his thighs.
I sit in front of him and balance the plate on my knees.
Suddenly I’m not so hungry. I just look down at the plate, angry that I cooked for nothing.
I bite my lip and glance at the stairs, wondering if Zaid is awake. The thought of him sends a pang through my chest, but I push it aside.
My eyes slide to Aiden.
What do I even want from this conversation? Closure? Clarity? Forgiveness?
His dark hair is tousled, and the way he looks at me makes me feel like he is depending on me to give him assurances.
My mind flashes to the first time we met in the school office. How he’d grinned at me, made me laugh when I didn’t think I’d ever laugh again. How he made me forget my pain, my scars, if only for a little while.
The guy that sits in front of me seems to be someone completely different. The type of guy that would let his brother take the fall for something he did and then treat him like
shit.
How can he be the same person?
I take a deep breath, forcing myself to meet his gaze. “Is it true?”
Aiden flinches, his jaw tightening. “What exactly did he tell you?”
I lick my lips and stop my hands from trembling. “That it was you driving the car. That you let Zaid take the blame and he went to juvie to protect you.”
His face pales, his eyes darting to the floor. “It wasn’t supposed to happen like that.”
“So it is true.” My chest spasms.
He nods.
Tears fill my eyes. “How could you do that?”
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3:15 Bm
Fix It
He shakes his head and runs his hands through his fingers. “Alina, I was scared. I panicked. I didn’t know what to do.”
“So you let Zaid take the fall?” I demand.
He grimaces.
“You let him go to juvie while you walked away free?”
“It wasn’t like that!” he protests, leaning forward, his hands clasped together.
There’s so much happening in his eyes. Fear, hatred, anger, devastation and complete, burning guilt.
“Zaid insisted. He told me he’d take the blame. He said I had too much to lose.”
I stare at him, my chest tightening. “And you just let him? You didn’t fight it?”
“Of course I did!”
I blink the tears from my eyes until they fall down my cheeks.
“But he told me it was the right thing to do,” he finally says, his voice barely above a whisper. “He said he didn’t care, that he didn’t have a future, anyway.”
I set my plate on the coffee table, my appetite entirely gone. “He does have a future.”
He flinches again, his hands curling into fists. “I made a mistake, okay? I was young and stupid. I’m not proud of it, Alina. But I can’t change the past.”
I lean back, crossing my arms. “But you treat him like shit. You act like he really did do it. But it was you.”
Aiden’s face crumples, and for a moment, I think he’s going to cry.
“You treat him like he’s the one who ruined your life when it’s the other way around.”
“We were fine at the beginning, when he came back from juvie,” he whispers, running his hand up and down his arm. “We still talked, and we were close and-”
“And then what?”
3/4
3:15 pm 11 # #n
Fix It
“It just became harder. The guilt I felt every time I looked at him was suffocating.”
I shake my head in disbelief. That’s a ridiculous excuse.
“I don’t know how to fix it,” he admits, his voice breaking. “I’ve messed everything up, and now you’re looking at me like I’m a monster.”
I close my eyes, his words cutting deeper than I’d like to admit. “I don’t know how to feel
right now.”
He reaches for my hand, his touch hesitant. “Please, Alina. Just don’t give up on me. I’ll do whatever it takes to make this right.”
I twist my fingers with his, swallowing. “Does Jak -your dad know?”
He shakes his head.
Relief floods me and I ignore the guilt floods through me. I pull my hand away, standing up. “Fix things with Zaid.”
Aiden watches me, his expression a mix of heartbreak and desperation.
“I mean it.”
He hesitantly nods.
