No
The water burns. I look down at my feet, noting my red skin and the steam that builds up
around me.
It scorches down my back, across my shoulders, and I sigh. At least I’m feeling something. At least I’m not completely numb.
I don’t move from underneath the spray.
I stand there, head bowed, trembling under the weight of everything that just happened. She saw us. My mother, and now she’s out there, doing god knows what, fueled by her fury and the conviction that I need saving.
From him. From myself. From this life I chose.
My throat feels like it’s closing, panic vibrating under my skin. I brace my hand on the shower wall, trying to breathe. But I feel like I’m floating, or maybe falling.
The water finally turns cold. I gasp, shying away from the water. It’s sharp, shocking,and
it forces me to move.
I scrub myself down in seconds, towel off with shaking hands, and step out of the bathroom. The hallway feels quiet. Too still.
I glance at the doors, heart racing, and let my feet carry me to Zaid’s room. His door creaks open under my hand, and the familiar scent of him instantly wraps around me like
a balm.
I slip into one of his oversized t–shirts, letting it fall to mid–thigh, and crawl under his covers. They’re warm and they smell like him. I bury my face in his pillow and breathe deep, trying to find something steady in the middle of all this chaos.
Minutes pass. Maybe more. I don’t know.
When the door opens, I lift my head. Zaid steps in, holding a mug of coffee, his brows pinched until he sees’me.
“There you are. I checked your room first.” He walks inside, shutting the door closed with
his foot.
1/4
No
I offer a tiny smile as I sit up. He crosses the room, handing me the mug before sitting beside me, his back pressed to the headboard. I shift toward him and he opens his arm, pulling me close until my head rests against his shoulder. The warmth of the mug warms my fingers.
I take a sip and hum softly. “You always make my coffee just right.”
He hums low, but then he turns, cupping my chin and tilting my face toward him. “How do you feel?”
I want to lie. Want to say I don’t know, that I don’t want to talk about it, but the pressure breaks, and the words spill out with my tears.
“I don’t even know how to say it,” I whisper.
He watches me like a man with all the patience in the world.
“It’s like it’s all too much. I’m scared. For Jake. For us. I don’t know what she’s doing, what she’s saying out there. And I’m angry, so angry, that she thinks she gets to just come back and have a say in my life. After everything.”
Zaid’s fingers stroke lightly against my arm, saying nothing, just listening.
“I feel like the villain,” I continue, my voice cracking. “For being with Jake. For wanting him. I feel like nothing is going to be the same again. Like I ruined everything.”
Zaid shakes his head. “You’re not a villain. We’re all adults here.”
I take a deep breath. “Maybe. The only thing I know for sure is that I wouldn’t choose to be anywhere else right now.”
He doesn’t say anything. He just looks at me and when I lean up to kiss him, he meets me halfway. His lips are gentle, his touch sure. I melt into it, needing the weight of him, the closeness, the escape.
I set my mug down on the nightstand and shift into his lap, straddling him, deepening the kiss. His hands move to my waist, holding me, and for a moment, I think he’ll let me stay here. Let me forget everything.
I feel him push against my waist, but I press in closer.
2/4
No
He pulls away, his breath ragged. “Alina, stop.”
I blink at him, stunned. “What?”
He shakes his head slowly. “I don’t think this is wise.”
My jaw tenses. “Wise? I need you, Zaid.”
His face falls. He flinches slightly, like I just hit him. “No.”
My chest tightens until I can’t breathe.
“I think what you need is to deal with what’s happening. Not bury it under sex or distractions. This is a band–aid, Alina. It won’t make you feel better.”
His words are soft. Kind, even. But they still cut straight into my heart.
I stiffen, heat rising to my cheeks and not the good kind. Shame clings to me like smoke. I climb off his lap and stand, arms folded tight across my chest.
“Alina,” he reaches out.
“I’m fine,” I say quickly.
“Don’t have to leave.” His voice is gentle. Pleading. “We can talk. I want to talk. You can be vulnerable with me. I’m not going anywhere.”
I shake my head. “I can’t.”
He looks at me like I just pulled his heart out of his chest and the look in his eyes makes me want to die. But I can’t. I can’t.
I shake my head, walking out of the room.
My bare feet are silent against the floor as I head down the hall, my heart pounding. I
reach the stairs just as Aiden comes up, just getting home from school. His smile lights up his face, but the moment he sees mine, his expression shifts.
“Hey,” he says softly, “you okay?”
“No,” I say, running to him.
3/4
No
He drops his bag and his arms catch me like they always do, lifting me off the floor. I
press my face into his neck, and he kisses my cheek, carrying me into his room like it’s nothing.
I lift my head, searching his eyes before I press my lips to his. He moans into my mouth, his cock hardening between my legs.
Yes. This is what I need.
He turns to close the door to his room,and I glance over his shoulder.
Zaid is standing in his doorway.
Watching.
His face unreadable.
Then Aiden shuts the door.
