I’m Done
The rest of the day passes in a blur while I try my best not to think about my mother.
Of course it doesn’t work. I might not be actively talking about this morning, but it’s in my head, regardless.
Jake’s still locked away in his office,no sign of him, no word. The only thing we get is a
text around dinnertime.
J: Don’t wait for me.
So we don’t.
Aiden and I order pizza. We sprawl on the couch, slices on paper plates, a dumb movie
playing on the T.V.. He’s laughing at the screen like it’s any other night. Like nothing’s happened. Like the world hasn’t cracked open beneath my feet.
I haven’t exactly told him anything, because if I say it out loud, it becomes real.I don’t
want to talk about it. He thinks Zaid is feeling sick and Jake is too busy with work things.
His hand rests on my thigh, his thumb brushing soft circles against my skin.
Usually, it’s comforting.
Tonight, it makes my stomach twist.
I smile at him once when he looks my way, but it feels thin. Fake. It’s a lie I can’t quite
keep up.
He fucked me good earlier, and it helped. It numbed me for a while, but now everything is
rushing back in.
Heavier. Hotter.
I feel like I’m suffocating under it. My heart is in my stomach. Everything hurts. I want to
cry, but there are no tears left. Just this dull, hollow ache echoing in my chest.
“I’m gonna go check on Zaid,” I say quietly, setting my plate down.
Aiden turns to look at me with a soft smile and kind eyes. He leans over and kisses me
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I’m Done
once, lips brushing mine like nothing’s wrong. Like I’m not bleeding under my skin.
“Okay, baby,” he says, turning back to the screen.
I climb the stairs slower than I need to, dragging my fingers along the railing and then the wall. My hand trembles when I reach Zaid’s door. I try the knob.
It’s locked. My heart drops. That tiny click feels like a punch to the chest. He never locks
- it.
I knock, once, twice. Silence follows, and I wonder how angry he is from earlier.
“Zaid?”
The door creaks open a second later.
He stands there, face blank. His eyes unreadable. And just like that, he looks like he used to before all of this, guarded, distant. Mean.
He doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t move. Just stares at me like he’s waiting for me to say
something. He doesn’t even invite me in.
I rub my arms, suddenly feeling very, very small. “Can we talk?”
He looks like he’s going to say no, his dark eyes taking me in from my head to my toes. I’m shaking at this point. Where is my Zaid? My love?
He finally gives a stiff nod and steps aside.
I walk in slowly. The air in his room feels heavier than usual. Books are scattered across
his desk and I know he must’ve been studying.
The silence between us is thick enough to choke on. I realize I’m going to have to speak
first.
“Um, Aiden and I ordered pizza if you’re hungry. There’s still some left over in the
kitchen-”
“What do you want, Alina?” he interrupts, sighing.
I wrap my arms around myself and sigh, licking my lips to prepare myself. “I’m sorry.
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I’m Done
About earlier.”
My voice is quiet and I lift my eyes to his, finally able to look him in the eyes.
He nods. Says nothing. Just slides his hands into his pockets and waits.
“I’ve missed you,” I admit.
That gets a reaction. He frowns. A flash of anger passing through his eyes before he swallows it down with a sigh.
“I can’t do this,” he breathes.
My blood turns cold. My entire body stiffens. “What?”
He shakes his head, eyes locking onto mine, and for a second I see it, everything he’s feeling. Everything he’s holding back.
“This isn’t what forever should look like, Alina,” he says. “Using sex like a makeshift bandage. Then as a weapon. As a way to show me that you can just walk away when you’re unhappy with me, with a conversation we have.”
My breath catches. “Zaid, that’s not what I was doing-”
He scoffs, pain flashing across his face. “Isn’t it?”
I open my mouth, but there’s nothing. No words. Just silence.
“And you know what the most fucked up part is?” He chuckles incredulously.
I tremble, hating the look on his face.
“I’m the only one who sees it. Jake and Aiden? They’re happy to take whatever they can get from you. I want to let you do what you want, even if it’s giving them what they want. But I see you, Alina. I see what this is doing to you. It’s killing you, slowly. Shoving everything down, pretending like you’re fine? That’s not what I want our forever to look
like.”
Tears start streaming down my face.
He steps closer, his voice breaking. “And I see it because I know you better than anyone.”
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I’m Done
I want to scream. I want to yell that he doesn’t understand, but he does. He does. He sees right through me.
Zaid closes the distance, his hand coming up to gently cup my chin. He tilts my face until I’m forced to meet his eyes.
“My heart is yours,” he whispers. “But that doesn’t mean you get to trample on it.”
I shake my head. “That’s not what I meant to do.”
His face drops, pain etched into his dark eyes. “And because my heart is yours, I can’t keep standing here watching you destroy yourself.”
My throat tightens. “W–what are you saying?”
His eyes glisten, and he blinks hard, like he’s trying to stop the tears. “I’m saying I’m
done.”
It’s barely a whisper. But it rips through me like a scream.
“No,” I breathe.
“I love you too much to be another reason you lose yourself.”
He lets go of my chin, stepping back, arms limp at his sides like it took everything he had to say those words. And I stand there, frozen. Feeling like the ground just dropped out from under me
