Chapter 5 

I stare at his bloodshot eyes. 

I can’t tell if they’re red from alcohol, emotion, or anger. 

Before I can respond, James suddenly covers my mouth with his hand. I look at him in surprise. 

“I don’t want to hear a single word from you,” he says coldly. 

Then he grabs my wrist and practically shoves me into his expensive car. 

I sit silently, feeling like I’m barely there. 

I don’t know what James intends to do or where he’s taking me. “Not going to ask anything?” James breaks the silence as he drives. I can’t help but find this darkly amusing. 

Wasn’t he the one who just said he didn’t want to hear me speak? 

I don’t point this out. 

Death puts everything into perspective. 

89% 

“James,” I say softly, “I never dreamed I’d be riding in such a beautiful car one day.” His knuckles tighten on the steering wheel. After a long pause, he says icily, “You never deserved to.” 

He’s right. 

I never did get to deserve any of this. 

The car stops. 

I stare at the unfamiliar parking garage, hesitating to get out. 

“What, do you need me to open the door for you too?” James says sarcastically. “James-” 

He yanks the door open. 

I’m pulled roughly into an elevator and then into his apartment. 

It’s a massive penthouse with floor–to–ceiling windows overlooking the entire city. I remember one freezing winter when we huddled together for warmth in our basement apartment. Nearly frozen, I’d fantasized aloud: “I want a huge apartment someday, with 180–degree floor–to–ceiling windows to see the whole city at night. And heating so good I could walk around naked even in winter…” 

Now James has all of that. 

Standing awkwardly in his vast living room, feeling out of place, I’m suddenly pushed down onto his plush sofa. 

He looms over me, eyes dark with intention. “Sophie, this is what you chose…” “No, don’t—” I struggle against him. 

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12:04 PM Mon 28 Apr 

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89% 

05 

I don’t want things to end this way with James. 

I don’t want our final goodbye to be this messy, this desperate. 

The room spins with tension and unresolved feelings… 

Suddenly, James’s phone rings. 

The insistent ringtone cuts through the charged atmosphere again and again. He finally answers. 

“James, I’m so scared,” Yasmine’s tearful voice comes through clearly. “I just had a nightmare that you left me.” 

“I need you. Can you come over? I miss you so much.” 

“James, please…” 

James pulls away from me, straightens his clothes, and walks out without a backward glance. 

I lie pale and shaken on the couch. 

My phone still displays the record of my desperate call to Yasmine moments ago. 

I straighten my clothes and tidy his disarranged sofa. 

When I try to leave, I discover James has locked the door from outside. I’m trapped. I sink down in defeat. 

I have no idea when James will return. 

Or what he might do when he does. 

With nothing else to do, I wander through his home. 

I enter his bedroom. 

Sitting at his desk, I notice a journal. 

So James still keeps a diary. 

I hesitate for a long time. Then I open it. 

25 

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