Sex With The Maid: Two Men and A Lady
BERNARD STARK GOT A CALL FROM HIS MUM–1
BERNARD STARK:
“What?”
“GET OUT!” I yelled, and he ran tripping over his own feet as he went. Spinning back to the table, all of their eyes were glued to me, terrified with the exception of Scarlet.
“Tonight, we make public that the police and the district attorney are not being transparent. We are going to put pressure on them, and I want a story to be published immediately after I go live doubling down on that. The people of this state have a right to know what the fuck their governor was doing with their tax money. If you meet resistance, call them out for being in someone’s pocket. If they aren’t, they will be vindicated. If they are, well…that’s just another story.”
No one moved. They just stared.
“You can go,” I snapped. They grabbed their tablets and quickly filed out one by one as I
leaned back in the chair.
“You know this is why they call you the Benasaurus Rex, right?” Scarlet asked, coming up beside me and taking a seat on the table. “However, today you are a little more bloodthirsty than usual; what’s wrong?”
I don’t know!
“Nothing,” I lied.
Her bright blue eyes narrowed and she lifted her head up. “Your parents again?”
“Are you my producer or my therapist?”
“For you, I have to be both.”
“I’m fine Scarlet.”
“Mr. Stark?” My assistant once again popped her head inside. “Your mother is holding on
line two-”
1/3
BERNARD STARK GOT A CALL FROM HIS MUM–1
“What did I tell you to do when my family calls?”
“Send them to voicemail, but she said it’s important and keeps calling.” No sooner had
she said it than my phone rang, proving that my mother had this office wiretapped. I was
sure of it.
“Let’s go Lily, before our favorite dinosaur tries eating us whole.” Scarlet patted my
shoulder before walking out.
“For the record, if I hear anyone else referring to me as giant a lizard, I’m firing them too!” I called out as she left. She only waved back, obviously not caring.
Reaching for the phone, I prepared myself for the tongue–lashing I was about to get.
“Hello Mother,” I said politely.
“Mother.” Her high voice stabbed into my ears. “Siri Google ‘Mother‘.” She must have spoken to her other phone and lifted it for me to hear. “Females who inhabit or perform the role of bearing some relation to their children, who may or may not be their
biological offspring.”
“Is this your way of saying I’m adopted?” If so, it looks like life is finally looking up.
“You drive me insane, Bernard, and you know it! Who screens their mother’s calls?”
“Anyone above the age of sixteen.”
She took a deep breath. “Tonight I’m having a very important party. You will be there. with a beautiful young woman, preferably someone who will not embarrass you or me and is of marriage material. You will smile, you will laugh, you will pretend you are the only son of the Stark family, and heir to everything when your father and I die. Which might be soon since you are keen on breaking my heart. It will be a splendid night and then you can go back to your fortress of solitude high above Boston. Do you understand?”
“Where am I supposed to find this beautiful young unattached woman?” I asked.
“I don’t know son, but the brunette producer in your office seems like a viable option.”
“Goodbye, Mother.” I hung up, fighting the urge to drop my head on the table. Apparently
my phone was cursed.
23
BERNARD STARK GOT A CALL FROM HIS MUM–1
CERCI LANNISTER:
“I looked pitiful the other night, right?” Irene asked me at the door. She was dressed in an outfit I could not afford, diamond earrings only seen in catalogs, and perfect makeup while I scrubbed her toilet.
If she was what ‘pitiful‘ looked like, I’d love to take a stab at it.
“No, you didn’t,” I finally answered while spraying the toilet bowl with bleach.
“I used to be really popular; people lined up to come to my parties.”
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