Wash Everything Away
The kitchen is quiet except for the soft clinking of a spoon against ceramic as Nikki stirs a cup of tea.
My stomach turns to the point of pain and I pick at my nails, too nervous to sit down.
Nikki’s wide, guilt–ridden eyes meet mine for what feels like the hundredth time, her lips parting as she whispers, “I’m so sorry, Alina. We should have never gone out.”
I shake my head, exhaustion pressing down on me like a weight. “Don’t say that. It’s not your fault. I was having fun”
I try to smile, but I’m sure it comes out broken and horrible.
“Baby, it’s not your fault,” Parker interjects, his voice edged with barely contained anger. “That fucker – Mr. Admas is a pervert.”
Nikki lets out a shaky breath, turning her attention back to the tea as she busies herself searching through the cabinets for honey. I glance toward the stairs, knowing that Jake is asleep, and I don’t want to wake him up.
I chew my lip, my pulse still unsteady, but before I can even begin to process my next thought, the front door opens.
The moment I see Zaid, I move on instinct.
I don’t even think. My feet carry me forward before I can breathe, before I can do anything else.
Zaid looks tired, disheveled, his dark hair a mess, his jaw tight with anger and disgust, Aiden right at his heels. But I don’t care about anything else except that he’s here. I throw myself into his arms, my fingers clutching onto his shirt as I bury myself against him, my breath shaky.
“What happened? Are you okay?” My voice comes out more frantic than I intend, but I can’t help it. I’m shaking, the adrenaline still running through me.
He pulls back slightly, frowning down at me. His hands cup my face and his warmth brings me peace. “I should be asking you that.”
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Wash Berything Away
I swallow, my emotions still on edge, and before I can say anything else, he leads me back into the kitchen. Nikki wordlessly hands me the tea she had just made, and I take it gratefully, murmuring, “Thank you.”
Her mascara is running down her face, and she is looking at me like she hopes I don’t hate her. 1 pull her into a hug. She sighs, like she was waiting for that,
“Thank you for bringing me home,”
She nods against my shoulder, still holding me tight. “I’m sorry,”
We pull apart and I shake my head. “It’s nothing you have to apologize for.”
Parker clears his throat. “Do you guys need anything else?”
Aiden shakes his head, clapping him on the shoulder. “No, man. Thanks for bringing her home.”
He walks them both to the door while Zaid stays with me, his eyes never leaving mine. Aiden joins them outside, no doubt explaining to them what happened. Once the front door closes behind them, Zaid finally speaks. “What do you need?”
My throat tightens. My hands tremble as I hold the warm mug between them, but the tea does nothing to chase away the chill that lingers on my skin.
“I just want to take a shower. I want to wash everything away.”
Zaid doesn’t hesitate. He places his hand on my lower back, waling me to his room. He takes the tea from my hands, setting it on the bedside table.
His movements are careful as he walks me into the bathroom, his fingers gentle as he helps me undress. He doesn’t rush me, he just watches me.
I cry as he takes care of me, his fingers hesitant. He doesn’t really touch me unless I lean
into him.
We step into the shower together, the warm water cascading over us, and I close my eyes, taking his hands and placing them on me. He slides them over my skin, washing away the remnants of violation.
He doesn’t push for more, doesn’t ask for anything. He’s just there, quiet. When we finally
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Wash Everything Away
get out, he dries me off, leads me to the bed, and pulls me close beneath the covers.
But I can’t sleep.
I turn on my side, staring at him. His eyes are already open, watching me in the dim light. “What happened?”
He hesitates, his jaw clenching slightly. I see the way his throat moves when he swallows, his fingers tracing small, absentminded circles on my waist. “The cops got involved.”
My breath shallows. “The cops?”
He nods, eyes searching mine. “They want you to go to the station tomorrow. To give a statement. And… if you want to press charges.”
Panic coils in my stomach, making my chest feel tight. Before I can spiral, his hands slide down my arms, grounding me, his voice soft. “I’m sorry for getting the cops involved. I should have controlled myself.“.
I frown. “What do you mean?”
He flinches, a grimace tugging at his features. He looks away for a long moment, his fingers tightening slightly on my arm as if he’s bracing himself.
In a voice so quiet I almost don’t hear it, he whispers, “Because I know what it feels like.”
My breath catches.
His jaw flexes again, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows hard. When he finally meets my gaze, there’s raw, unspoken pain. His voice is barely above a whisper. “I know
what it feels like to have someone touch you when you don’t want it.”
Shock punches through me. My chest tightens, my pulse stuttering as his words settle deep, unraveling something inside me. I remember Nikki and my conversation with her as she was laying in the tub. About the nurse.
“Is that why you don’t like hospitals?” I ask, putting the pieces together.
He flinches, but nods. “I shouldn’t have gotten the cops involved because I don’t want you
to feel forced to talk about it. Like I was.”
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1.30 pm 1
Wash Everything Away
I don’t know what to say. I just reach for him, my fingers brushing over his cheek, and he closes his eyes, exhaling shakily at the touch.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
He leans in closer, pressing his forehead to mine.
And in that moment, nothing else matters but this, him and me, holding onto each other in the dark, our wounds invisible but understood. The world could disappear for all I care.
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