A Terrible Mother
I stop breathing. I stop feeling.
It all comes crashing back down when I inhale.
Panic rushes through me. I fumble, my movement stiff and yet fast. I wipe my mouth, adjusting the hem of my nightgown while lifting my strap back to my shoulder.
The room feels like it’s closing in, suffocating, too bright, too loud.
My mother starts screaming. Her purse swings through the air, colliding with Jake’s bare shoulder.
“Get off my daughter, you sick pervert!” she shrieks, hitting him again, her face red with
rage.
Jake just takes the hit, steps back and keeps his eyes on her.
She only gets closer to him, hitting him over and over again. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“Stop!” I cry, jumping off the counter and raising my hands as if I can physically push back her fury.
My voice cracks, but she doesn’t stop, doesn’t even hear me. She’s too far gone, her wide,
frantic eyes darting between me and Jake like she’s witnessing a nightmare.
“I need to call the cops,” she gasps, her fingers scrambling for her phone. “This is disgusting. He needs to be arrested!”
“No!” The desperation in my voice is raw. “I’m fine. There’s no need for that.”
Her gaze whips back to me, disbelief stretching her features.
“You think this is okay?” she spits.
I shrug. “I wanted this.”
“That man is manipulating you, using you.” Her voice wavers, but the anger doesn’t fade.
1/4
A Tarde Mother
Something in me snaps, because I can’t stand the emotions in her eyes
“You have no right to say that,” I say, my voice cold and sharp. “You don’t get to pretend to care now, after everything.”
She flinches.
“You are a terrible mother. A bitch. A selfish woman.” The words come rushing out before
I can stop them, before I can swallow them down like I always have.
She acts like I’ve hit her right across the face. “I lost my son, my husband-”
I cry, hot tears streaming down my face. “I lost my father! My brother!”
I can’t breathe. Mother just stares at me, hardening her expression to mask her emotions like she always does.
“I’ve needed you for the past two years.”
“I needed time-”
“Bullshit!” I scream. “You weren’t just distant, you were mean. You blamed me. You drank until you couldn’t even look me in the eye, telling me I was the reason they died. Telling me you wished I was the one that died.”
She blinks, confused, and I want to hit her across the face. “I don’t remember saying any
of-”
“Stop. I won’t let you use your alcoholism as an excuse. Fuck you. I don’t need you. Jake
has cared for me more than you ever have. He’s been here. He’s been constant. You? You only show up when it’s convenient, when it makes you feel better about yourself.”
Her expression changes and she once again looks at me like I’m some deranged stranger. “It would be fine if he cared for you as a father figure, Alina. But he’s not. He’s using you.”
Footsteps thunder down the stairs, and then Zaid is there, his face tight. His gaze flickers between us, taking in my mother’s shaking hands, her clenched jaw, the way she still grips her purse like a weapon.
He cautiously makes his way toward me, taking my hand in his. I breathe out a sigh of relief, tangling my fingers with his.
2/4
A Terrible Mother
“What’s going on?” he asks, his voice low, cautious.
I swallow, pressing my lips tother. “Um. She caught Jake and I- uh-”
“Fucking on the kitchen counter,” my mother finishes for me. “I came here after getting calls and emails from your school about your teacher. I came here to make sure you were okay and I catch her fucking my husband on the kitchen counter.”
I roll my eyes, knowing she’s only using that word to get to me. I’d be surprised if she ever thought of him as a husband and not just a money bag.
Zaid exhales sharply, then moves. He stands between me and my mother.
Mother’s eyes narrow. “You knew about this?”
Zaid doesn’t flinch, his eyes on me. “Yes.”
Her nostrils flare. “And you think this is normal?”
He doesn’t even look at her, just shrugs. “Just because something isn’t normal doesn’t
mean it’s bad.”
She scoffs, shaking her head in disgust. “Well, this is bad. I’m reporting this. I’m going to
the authorities.”
With that, she turns on her heel and storms out; the door slamming behind her.
Silence crushes the space she left behind.
Jake runs a hand through his hair, exhaling sharply. “There’s nothing she can do. You’re
not a minor.”
But I see it. The panic. The worry tightening his features, flickering through his dark eyes before he turns away, heading up the stairs without another word.
I stay where I am, my body trembling, my heart pounding. Zaid shifts closer, his arms wrapping around me.
I let myself sink into him, into his quiet strength, pressing my face against his chest as I struggle to breathe. The weight of it all is crushing, suffocating.
3/4
A Terrible Mother
“What are we going to do?” I whisper, my voice breaking.
Zaid presses his lips to my hair. “Anything we have to do.”
I close my eyes. “This is all my fault. He could get in trouble, he could lose his company,
he could-”
“Hey,” he cups my face and tilts my head back so I face him. “Don’t think about that right now. Take a long, hot shower. I’ll make you some coffee. I’ll talk to Jake, figure out something with your mother.”
I look at him. “You don’t have to do all of that.”
His eyes soften. “I don’t think you truly believe me when I tell you that I belong to you.”
My chest expands, and I close my eyes, leaning my forehead against his.
“What happens to you, happens to me and I will do anything I can to make you smile again. To make you feel safe again.”
