Gossip–1
My heart breaks.
Not figuratively. At least it doesn’t feel like that. It feels physical. Like my heart is actually cracked open, filling me with blood.
Not poetic, like how people describe it in movies.
It’s loud in my head. It shatters, devastating and brutal. I can feel it tear open in my chest, like something vital inside me just split apart. Like I’m losing a part of myself all over again.
Losing my family was one thing, they were ripped from, taken from me. I couldn’t fight for them, I couldn’t see them.
But Zaid?
He’s standing right in front of me and still slipping through my fingers.
“No,” I whisper, my voice broken, my knees shaking.
I stumble back a step, vision blurring. The world around me bends, spinning slightly as the reality of it crashes down on me.
Zaid’s still looking at me with all that love in his eyes, but he’s letting me go. Tears spill down my cheeks, hot and endless. My throat clenches so tightly it hurts to breathe. The
ache in my chest blooms into agony and I can’t stop it; I break.
My knees buckle.
Zaid catches me before I hit the floor.
He sinks with me, arms wrapping around me as I collapse against him, gasping like I’m drowning. Because that’s what it feels like. Like the oxygen has been ripped out of the world and I can’t find any to pull into my lungs.
“Breathe,” he whispers, holding my cheeks. “Alina, breathe, my love, please.”
I clutch at his shirt, fisting the fabric like it’s the only thing tethering me to this world.
1/3
Gossip 1
My sobs are violent, shaking through my entire body.
“Please…” I gasp. “Please don’t do this. I’ll change…I’ll get better. I swear, I’ll try harder. Just stay. Please, Zaid. Don’t go. Don’t let go of me.”
His jaw tightens as he looks down at me, eyes filled with more pain than I can stand to see. “We’ll find our way back to each other. We will. I love you, Alina. I love you so much.”
He swallows, brushing his thumb under my eye as another tear falls. “But if I need to step away for you to find yourself again, then I’ll do that.”
“I can’t find myself without you,” I whisper.
He smiles softly, sadly, cupping my face with both hands. His thumbs sweep over my cheeks like he’s trying to memorize me. “I don’t want that for you.”
Oh god, I can’t breathe.
“I don’t want to be your crutch. I see you, Alina. I see your value, your strength, your brilliance. But if you can’t see it, then I need to step back so you can find it on your own.”
I lean forward, desperate, searching his face for something to hold on to. I press my lips to his, needing the connection, needing the hope that maybe he’s still mine.
But he stops me.
“No, Alina” he whispers, his voice breaking. He shakes his head and pulls back, barely.
The way he says my name shatters me all over again.
“I’ll be here for you, as a friend. Only as a friend.”
I crumble again. My face buries into his neck as I calm my breathing, my arms tightening around him like I can somehow fuse us together, keep him here.
“I feel like nothing will make sense without you,” I whisper.
He holds me through it. He doesn’t speak. Just rocks me gently, fingers in my hair, lips pressed to my temple.
And eventually, when the tears take everything from me, when exhaustion makes my body
2/3
Gossip 1
heavy and numb, I fall asleep in his arms,
I don’t know how long he holds me, but when I wake up the next morning, I’m in my
room. Alone.
The bed is too cold. The air is too still. The house is too quiet.
Chapter Comments
Visitor
love this book!! Zaid is definitely the on for her! thank you for frequent updates.
VIEW 1 COMMENT >
POST COMMENT
1
< SHARE
