More Than an Escape–2
And then his mouth finds mine.
Hot. Slow. Devastating.
He kisses like he’s starving. His hands are everywhere, my waist, my jaw. It hurts, but I take it. I melt into him, greedy for every second, every breath, every proof that he still
feels this too.
When we finally break apart, gasping, trembling, his hands still on my hips, Zaid pulls back like I’ve just burned him.
His mouth is red. His eyes dark. Then he steps back, face twisted in some mix of guilt and rage. “This was a mistake.”
My stomach drops, and something hot rises in my throat. “A mistake?”
He turns away, jaw working like he’s trying to swallow the words down. He runs his hands through his hair, the muscles on his back bunching.
“Why?” I demand, voice shaking.
He spins on me, eyes blazing. “Because wanting someone isn’t enough, Alina!”
My breath hitches.
Zaid takes a step forward, veins standing out on his hands, his chest heaving. “Do you think it’s easy for me to keep pulling back? To live in the same house as you and not
touch you? To ache for you with every fucking breath I take?”
His voice cracks, something breaking inside him. “You think I don’t want you? That I don’t dream about you every goddamn night? That I don’t remember exactly how you
taste, how you sound when you fall apart in my arms?”
I stare at him, stunned. He runs a hand through his hair, looking like he’s on the edge of
unraveling.
His eyes are on the ground, voice softer. “I’d give you everything, Alina. Let you use me for anything. Every piece of me. I’d set myself on fire if it would keep you warm. But I
1/3
More Than an Escape–2
don’t even know if you see me anymore.”
Tears sting my eyes.
Zaid’s throat bobs. “Is it so hard to believe that I want to know you want me for more than just the way I make you forget everything else? That maybe I want to be wanted
even when the world isn’t falling apart autound you?”
He exhales like the words cost him everything. “I just… I need to know if you love me,
Alina. Love me. Not the escape I give you. Not a version of me. Me.”
The silence between us is deafening.
And in it, my heart folds in on itself.
Because I do love him..
I always have.
But now I wonder if he’s right,, iff maybe I’ve never shown him that I love him more tham
need him.
“Because what happens when we’re happy? When the nightmares stop, when the memories stop chasing us?” he whispers, getting closer, his hand cupping my cheek.
I watch him silently..
His eyes oscillatie between mine, studying me. “Because you want that, right? You want that freedom.. I want it to. For you and me, my love. What happens when you don’t meed me? When all that matters is how we love each other?”
The pain in my chest makes me gasp and I pull away from his touch. I swallow, making my way around the car and toward the passenger seat. His eyes burn into me, that and
angry.
I look down at my hands on my lap, struggling to breathe. Maybe I’ve always been too focused om surviving, too desperate for the relief of him, to see that he lus meeds and desiress just as intense as mine. Needs that have to do more with his hemtt tthan with our physicall relationship.
Zaïd’s shoulders rise and fall, his eyes glassy as he climbs into the diver’s seat. He looks
2
More Than an Escape–2
at me like he’s waiting for me to say something. Anything.
But I don’t have the words yet. And so, without another sound, he starts the car.
We drive to the motel in Solince, quiet, wrecked, and completely burned through.
Chapter Comments
LIKE
POST COMMENT NOW
SHARE
3/3
