Chapter 238
It takes me a while to realize I’m in Zaid’s bed when I first open my eyes to the morning
sun.
His arms are wrapped around my waist, our legs tangled together like we fell asleep like that and never wanted to separate. His chest rises and falls behind my back, his breath
warm on my neck.
My body shivers and I try to hold back the laugh that wants to bubble from my chest. I’m grinning like an idiot, though.
My heart takes on an odd beat in my chest. Maybe I don’t have to leave. Maybe I don’t
have to go to Florence with my aunt.
Because what if what I’m looking for is already here?
I turn slowly, careful not to wake him, and look at him. He has this crease between his brows even in sleep, like there’s always something weighing on him in his thoughts. His lips are parted slightly, and I swear I could spend the rest of my day looking at him.
Memorizing his features.
I lean forward and kiss the corner of his mouth, not able to help myself. His brow twitches and my smile widens. I kiss him again.
He stirs, his eyes fluttering open, heavy with sleep. A sleepy smile curves his lips.
“Did you just kiss me?” he asks, voice rough with sleep.
I giggle, turning to lie on my stomach as I set my arms on his chest, propping my chin. “Maybe.”
He smiles down at me. “Morning.”
“Morning,” I whisper back.
He leans in and kisses me again, unhurried. And for a few heartbeats, there’s nothing but the warmth of his mouth and the way his hands find my waist beneath the sheets.
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Chapter 238
We shower together, stealing lazy kisses beneath the water, and I keep catching myself smiling. The kind of smile that creeps up without permission, the kind that belongs to
someone happy.
There have been only a handful of times where I’ve felt like that since my dad and Alex passed away. But this feels like something that could last a lifetime.
Downstairs, Zaid moves around the kitchen, bare feet against the hardwood, coffee brewing and music playing low. He’s humming softly, and I can’t stop staring at him. He’s only wearing pants, and it’s the best knowing that he feels comfortable enough around me to not care or even mention his scars.
He’s always been beautiful to me.
My phone buzzes on the counter, and I glance at it.
Aunt Elena: Just sent you all the details for the trip! It’s official. Italy, here we come! June 4th. I know you’re still thinking about it, but I’m so excited for us.
I read the words over and over again. Just an hour ago, I was content with the thought of staying here with Zaid. Now, I’m rethinking everything.
My stomach flips, twisting around itself. I stare at the screen for a long time, the
excitement I felt just yesterday, and the comfort I felt this morning now clouded by doubt. I set the phone down quietly, swallowing.
Zaid places the coffee in front of me, his eyes swinging from me to my phone and back at me. “Is everything okay?”
I press my lips together as I grab the mug. “Elena just texted me.”
“Oh?” He raises an eyebrow and takes a sip of his coffee.
“She sent me the information for the trip. We would head out in June,” I say, fingers tightening around the mug.
His smile falters for just a second. A flash of sadness in his eyes, like he’s trying to hide it
before I can catch it. But I see it.
He forces his smile back and nods softly. “That’s good. It’s soon, but good.”
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Chapter 238
I can’t help it. The words tumble out before I even fully form them. “You could come with us?”
He stills. His hand is resting on the edge of the counter, and I see the way his fingers curl slightly before he inhales and turns to face me. His expression is gentle, but firm. “I can’t, Alina.”
Something inside me drops. “Oh.”
He steps closer, reaching out, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. His fingers linger there, just brushing my skin.
“I want to,” he says quietly. “God, I want to. But I have things I need to figure out too. Parts of me I still have to face. And I’m sure your aunt would have invited me too if she thought it was a good idea.”
Whatever high I was feeling from last night crumples in an instant.
He steps closer, pressing his forehead to mine. “Trust me, love, if this is real, then a year is nothing compared to the rest of our lives.”
I blink fast, the heat in my throat rising. “But what if it changes? What if we change?”
He lifts my chin gently. “We will change. That’s the point. You’re going there to grow. To find yourself. I want that for you. I want you to come back knowing, loving yourself more than anything.”
I stare at him, my heart a storm.
“What if you don’t want me anymore?” I ask, quieter than I mean to.
His eyes shine with that aching, honest kind of love.
“I’ll want you every fucking day,” he says.
“You say that now, but what if-”
He doesn’t let me finish, pressing his lips to mine and wrapping his hand behind my neck. He tilts his head to get deeper access, devouring me.
When we pull apart, I’m struggling for breath.
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Chapter 238
“You have to trust me,” he whispers.
I swallow, nodding. There is no one I trust more than him.
“You don’t have to doubt what we are, Alina. I’m not going anywhere. You’ll come back and I’ll be here, doing what I know best. Waiting for you. Loving you.”
He presses a kiss to my forehead and turns around to start on breakfast.
I stand there with my heart beating out of my chest, wondering how it’s possible for
someone to make me feel like I’m flying.
I’m still scared of leaving, still unsure of being away from him for so long. But Zaid has a way of calming me, of bringing me to understand that even in the chaos, there is still
peace.
He’s right.
If this is real, and I believe with everything in me that it is, then time and distance won’t break it.
And when I come back, I’ll come back not as someone trying to be whole, but as someone who is. As someone who has something to give.
