Chapter 243
The wind carries the scent of pine and lake water toward us, the breeze cool.
I don’t turn to look at Zaid, just feel his body against mine. The towel still clings to my damp skin and I am incredibly uncomfortable. Still, I don’t want to move away from his
touch.
Zaid’s chin rests lightly on my shoulder. His breath is warm against my skin. It seems he’s had enough of the silence and his quiet voice breaks it.
“Do you not want to talk about it?”
I close my eyes, my body soft in his arms, but my heart heavy. “I never told you this, but I didn’t know how to feel about Aiden coming.”
He pulls back slightly. Just enough so I feel the space open between us. His hand lingers on my waist, but his eyes study me intensely. “What do you mean? I thought you wanted
him here.”
I nod. “I thought I did, too, but then when we talked at dinner that one time, I questioned my feelings.”
He says nothing, giving me the chance to keep talking.
I turn toward him, letting the towel fall down my shoulders a little. “I ended up calling Cami yesterday, and I decided that I was… I was going to break up with him.”
Zaid blinks. I see the flicker of surprise in his eyes. Again, he doesn’t say anything, just
waits.
I take a breath. “And then I saw him at the airport, and he kissed me, and for a second, I remembered how he made me feel safe when I first moved to Arizona. He was the first real comfort I had. He gave me something stable when everything else felt like
quicksand.”
Zaid’s brows pull together. His thumb brushes along my cheekbone gently, like he’s soothing something beneath my skin.
“I don’t know what to feel.”
1/4
Chapter 243
He sighs, moving his hand down to my neck. “I can’t tell you what to feel, love. But it sounds like your confusing platonic and romantic feelings.”
“I know,” I breathe. “That’s the problem. I can’t always tell the difference. I know they’re not the same; but sometimes my brain doesn’t know. I’m having a hard time separating them when it comes to Aiden.”
He’s quiet for a long moment, and then he leans in, pressing his forehead to mine.
“It sounds like you don’t trust your own feelings,” he whispers.
My lip trembles. I hate that he’s right.
“I don’t,” I admit, and the tears break free. They fall hot and fast, and I don’t try to stop them.
His hands come up to cradle my face, thumbs brushing away the tears like he’s done that for me my entire life. “You need to get to know yourself better, Alina. You’re smart, and strong, but if you don’t understand your own heart, how are you supposed to protect it? I can only protect you so much.”
There’s no judgement in his eyes or his voice. I let the words settle, and I know he’s right.
He pulls me close again, my cheek resting against his chest, the steady thump of his heartbeat calming my nerves.
After a long pause, he asks quietly, “Is that why Aiden was upset? Did you end things?”
I shake my head, lips pressed together. “No. Not really. We were in the lake, and it was fun. We kissed and that lead to other things, but… it was different. We both felt it. It wasn’t like it used to be. It wasn’t us. Not anymore.”
Zaid exhales slowly. He says nothing, just holds me tighter.
“I think that upset him,” I whisper. “That we both knew it was different.”
His hand strokes up and down my back, until my breathing evens out again.
“You okay?” he asks quietly.
I nod, even though I’m not sure. “I think I will be.”
2/4
Chapter 243
His chin rests against the top of my head.
My eyes sting again, but I don’t cry again. I don’t want to.
We sit like that for a little while, and then he shifts. “You wanna go inside?”
I nod. “Yeah. I need to shower.”
We walk back inside the house, our bare feet whispering over the floorboards. My towel is still knotted at my chest, clinging to my skin. Zaid opens the door for me, and I step into the cool air of the living room.
Aiden is standing there like he was trying to decide what to do.
He’s still only in his towel around his waist, looking sad.
He looks up when he hears us, eyes locking onto mine. His jaw tightens, and he pulls in a shaky breath.
“I didn’t mean to just walk away,” he says. “I was trying to process everything.”
I cross the room before I can think better of it, my footsteps light against the hardwood. I wrap my arms around him, pressing my cheek to his chest. “It’s okay.”
He exhales into my hair, his hand landing on my shoulder with a soft thud, warm and hesitant. “I don’t know what to feel right now.”
I pull back just enough to look up at him. “Then let’s shower. Let’s get dressed. And then we can figure it out. We can talk.”
He nods.
We part silently, heading in different directions. Zaid gives me a nod, a soft smile spreading across his lips, but he doesn’t follow.
I shower quickly, water rushing over my skin, washing off lake water, trying to map out what I want to say and how I hope this conversation will go.
I dress in a T–shirt and cotton shorts, something comfy and easy. My hair is damp, braided back.
3/4
Chapter 243
When I come back into the living room, Aiden is already there, dressed and dry, arms crossed, gaze fixed on the floor like it might have all the answers he needs.
Zaid’s sitting in the armchair, looking like he doesn’t know if he should breathe while we’re all here.
When I walk in, they notice me and Zaid stands. “I’ll go upstairs. Give you guys some space.”
Before he can move, Aiden looks up. “Stay.”
Zaid pauses. Blinks at his brother.
Aiden nods once. “You should probably be part of the conversation.”
The air changes, it tightens around my lungs. But I don’t run from it. Zaid looks at me and I smile at him. I want him here.
I sit down in the middle of the couch, and Zaid and Aiden sit, too.
