A Love 250

Posted by AdminH, ? Views, Released on April 27, 2025

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On the envelope, in Zaid’s handwriting, it says: Letter 1 of 365.

I blink. My heart hammers in my ears and I rip open the envelope, taking out the single piece of paper.

My love,

You’re probably confused right now. Maybe a little mad. Maybe even ad. I’m sorry I didn’t pick up when you called.

I need to give you space. I know I’ve said that so many times that you probably want to smack the words out of my mouth. But f want you to understand what I mean.

You need space. You deserve this. Every piece of it. You deserve to figure out who you are when you’re not worried about me and what I’m doing and how I’m feeling.

I didn’t answer when you called, not because I don’t want to hear your voice, fuck, I’d kill to hear your voice right now. But because if I did, I would’ve begged you to stay.

I’ve had to keep my mouth shut the entire last week we spent together. I promised myself that I wouldn’t ask you to stay. That I wouldn’t be selfish when it comes to you.

I swore I would never love you selfishly.

Still, I know how hard it could be to be in a completely different country. I don’t want you to feel alone, so I wrote your 365 letters. One for everyday you’ll be gone.

Your aunt has graciously agreed to be my partner in crime and she has every single letter I have written for you. She has agreed to give you one every morning.

You don’t have to read them all. But I hope you do. I hope each one becomes a small reminder for you when the world feels too heavy or too far from home.

That I love you and I am cheering you on from the other side of the world.

This is my way of being there without being there. This year is for you, my love.

Not for us. Not for me. Just you.

Don’t worry about me. I’ll be okay.

But if you ever need me, if it’s truly too much to where not even my words written on paper can silence the nightmares, just send me an SOS. I’ll answer. No questions asked.

Anything short of that? Focus on you.

Fuck Alina, love you. It’s ridiculous how much I love you. So much it hurts in my chest when I think of you walking streets I’m not on, breathing air I don’t get to touch.

When I saw you for that first time in detention, I was obsessed. I didn’t try to fucking hide it.

You were sitting there with those wide eyes and pursed lips, like you wanted to hide. Like you didn’t want anyone to notice you.

And fuck, did I notice you.

1/3

Chapter 250

You were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. I told myself 14 get you into my bed and get you out of my system. That’s what I had always done up until then. That’s what I knew. But then, saw the sadness in your eyes. The pain you thought you were hiding. And I recognized it, because it looked just like mine.

That hollow ache you carry around like armor? I’ve worn it too. And knew, right then, I couldn’t let you walk away. Not witho knowing you. Not without learning how to make that ache disappear

The more I got to know you, the more I knew you weren’t some girld get over.

I fell too fast, too hard. I’ll admit that. But loving you fast doesn’t make it mean less. If anything, it made it impossible to undo.

You are everything I never let myself want.

When you look at me, I can’t breathe. I’d do anything for you. Die for you. Which is why giving you this year is easy for me to do, in retrospect.

Fuck, as much as I don’t want to admit this, if one day you fall in love with someone else, I’ll smile through the pain if it means you’re happy.

Because your joy means more to me than my own.

If you come back to me after these 365 days, know that I’ll be waiting. My soul is already yours, my heart has long since been in your chest.

Go be selfish, my love. Go be fun and brave and messy. Don’t worry about what I would think, about what might make me jealous, about what I would want or would say.

Have that time that you were never given before you met me.

I’ll be here. Every day. In every letter. Loving you in silence.

Zaid

My hands are shaking by the time I reach the end of the letter. The pages are crumpled between my fingers, my chest so tight it feels like breathing is something I have to remember to do.

Zaid’s voice is everywhere. I press the letter to my chest and squeeze my eyes

shut.

I can almost feel him. I can almost hear him laughing. I want to call him with that SOS. I want to hear his voice.

But I won’t, because I get it. I get what he’s trying to do. I fold the letter back up, careful, and tuck it into the envelope Elena gave

me.

I wipe my cheeks and blow out a shaky breath. My entire body trembles as I make my way through the door and into Elena’s adjoine room. She looks up from her laptop, seeing the look on my face, and immediately stands up to hug me.

“Can I see them?” I whisper.

She doesn’t answer.

I pull back from her hug and look up at her. “I don’t mean to read them, I just want to see them.”

She smiles at me as she tucks my hair behind my ears and then walks over to her closet, where she has already set up some of her clothes. She kneels down to open a little trunk and then pulls out a few stacks of envelopes.