hen she was done, Milton’s lips twitched a little, and she knew he was having a hard time staying in cop mode.
“Go on, laugh,” she dared him with a pout. “But I don’t care about the other stuff, it’s the jewelry that is upsetting me, some of it belonged to my grandma and it’s gone.”
Milton placed his hand over hers. “Do you have photos of the missing stuff?”
“My father was a prosecutor, remember? I took photos of everything. I keep receipts and insurance records, too,” she said in the mocking tone her father would use. “Oh, speaking of insurance, Derrik canceled my car insurance. I only found out because I had a flat tire and called them, and they wouldn’t send out roadside assistance because I was no longer a customer.”
“Was this before or after the restraining order?”
“Both, it was six weeks ago, so after the temporary one, when you arrested him, but before the more permanent one.”
Milton hummed. “I’ll still be speaking to him about it, make sure all your bank accounts, home, and everything else that was in joint names is now in your name only. Have them note all your accounts to show there is a restraining order against Derrik and he is not to access any information. Then set up a passcode for every account, that must be given to access the accounts.”
“I will, she sighed, just wanting the bullshit with Derrik to be over.
“I’ll make a pot of coffee if you get those photos.”
Pandora shook her head in disbelief. “I’m beginning to think you only come here for the coffee!”
“Well, you do have my favorite kind.”
“Yeah, the kind you get all to yourself since I can’t have it,” Pandora snorted but carried on walking out. She got the lock box that held all her photos and information she had on each item and walked back down the stairs.
“Warm cocoa for the pregnant woman,” he said, placing the mug down. “Did you know that your shoes were in the fridge?”
Pandora tilted her head, looking at him and he pointed to the table.
“What? Why the hell were they in there?” she asked him and he just raised his brow at her. “I haven’t worn them since I have been like this,” she said, waving her hand at her baby bump. “Milton, this is the stuff I’m talking about. Either I am losing my mind, or…” She stopped talking and just stared at him. “Or some fucking evil prick is fucking with me. Last week, I had a rat and mouse in here, yet there was no opening that they could get in by. The week before that, my washing machine hoses loosened themselves from the water pipes and flooded my basement. At the same time, my toilet was blocked by—” She stopped talking and covered her face in embarrassment.
“By what?”
“A large sex toy,” she whispered.
Milton’s eyes widened and she made a face at him. “I have sex toys. Derrik was not the best in bed. He was very handsy, and rough. She felt her face heat up. “Not that you need to know that. I know guys like it that way, pulling hair and ramming it in, all that.”
She shook her head knowing she needed to stop talking to Milton about her sex life or lack thereof. “I have sex toys, yes, but this one was not one of mine. I certainly wouldn’t flush it if it was but it was scary and not mine. The one they pulled from my toilet was this huge black dildo and it wouldn’t have fit in me, so I’m not sure how it was forced into the drain.”
“Pandora,” Milton stopped her, sounding too calm for what she had just revealed to him. “I agree things are odd. I am going to check your security again and then look at the pawn shops around here for your missing jewelry.”
“Thank you,” she whispered gratefully and he gave her a huge smile.
“No problem, I enjoy your tangential rants.”
She rolled her eyes at him. “You look like you enjoy other people’s misery.” As soon as she said those words, she was reminded of the Craiglist ad he had posted about his brother–in–law. “Reminds me, what is up with that Craiglist ad?”
Oh, my brother–in–law found it. And he was not happy…”
“You can’t blame him. You were shading all his life choices.”
Milton just smirked. “Well, he was the one looking for cats to adopt in Vegas. And he didn’t even live there!” he snorted.
“Are you sure he was looking for cats to adopt? Maybe it was a euphemism for getting laid.” Pandora shrugged.
Milton nearly sprayed out his coffee. “Why didn’t I think of that one?” he exclaimed. He pulled out his cell phone and started typing a message.
“Wait, are you telling him that?” Pandora whisper–yelled.
“Don’t worry, I have protected your identity for your safety,” he joked as he turned his phone to show her the text.
[My friend Jane just asked if your wanting to adopt cats in Vegas was your idea of looking for new pussy.]
“Why are you calling me Jane?” Pandora groaned.
“Well, for one, you wanted your identity protected. And two, he really gets pissed off over the name Jane ever since I got him the doll.”
“And you question why,” she said with a shake of her head.
As if on cue, Milton’s phone rang. He looked at it and chuckled with pleasure. “See?” He handed her the cell phone.
[Milton, I swear to God I will kill you. Knock it off before you start missing your teeth and your family jewels. It has been six months and the joke isn’t even funny! And one final thing, I don’t want to date your friend Jane. EVER.]
Pandora sighed and stood up, clicking on reply.
“What are you doing?” Milton called as she hobbled out of the room, typing. She just managed to get to the bathroom, shut and lock the door when Milton knocked on it.
