Bang–lish [2/2]-1
I woke in the middle of the night, sweating from the heat surrounding me. I glanced down
to see Ethan’s hand and fingers in the same place they’d been when he’d fallen asleep. His
upper body still covered the right half of mine. Seth was spooning Ethan and had, at one
point, reached over to hold my left breast under his hand.
They were both still asleep. I could tell by Ethan’s warm, steady breathing against my neck and the twitch that came over Seth’s hand occasionally.
I placed an awkward kiss against Ethan’s forehead and dropped a hand over Seth’s. With a
deep sigh, I tried to wiggle away to pee, but–not a minute later–I knew I was trapped. As much as I wanted to stay snuggled up against them I couldn’t. It was hot, my bladder was almost full, and I was feeling emotional about my recent choices, but I was stuck.
My heart thumped rhythmically against my chest. “Ethan?” I whispered.
His dark lashes fluttered and lifted, exposing his impossibly green eyes. “Hey,” he said,
with a smile.
I heaved a sigh and lifted my gaze to the ceiling. “I’m gonna need you. I’m gonna need you both.”
My breath caught in my throat as Ethan shifted his fingers, which were still inside me, and pulled them out. He wiped the wet residue against the sheet covering my hips before letting his hand drop against the breast Seth’s hands occupied. Ethan hugged me to his side and settled his chin against the curve of my shoulder.
“Hmm, I feel like you’re about to get serious on me.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat and dropped my cheek to the top of his head. “I am, but before I tell you, just know, it’s going to do a lot of good, for me and them.”
“Look at me, Cass,” Ethan demanded softly as he pulled away so it would be easier to stare at me. “What’s going on? You know, I knew it was something. It’s been going on for a while now. I just couldn’t put my finger on it.”
I gave him a half–smile, trying to keep the tears from falling. I almost didn’t realize I’d been holding them in. This was my choice after all. I wasn’t being forced into it and I knew I wanted to at least try for that couple.
1/3
Bang–lish (2/2)-1
“Over the past few months, I’ve been undergoing some heavy psychological counseling.”
Ethan’s eyes widened. “Are you okay? I mean-
I shushed him. “I’m fine. It’s a process that I have to go through to see if I’m fit emotionally to be a surrogate.”
“A what?”
Ethan knew what it was, I was sure he did, but the puzzled expression on his face showed that it was too big for him to connect the dots at that moment. “A surrogate is someone who can carry a child full term for a couple who can’t conceive.”
Ethan glanced back at a still snoring Seth before turning his attention back to me. His body was almost rigid as he shifted from sleepy awareness to alertness. “Cassie-”
I cut him off quickly. “I already did the physical before I started the counseling, you know? What would be the point if I couldn’t physically handle it, but now that the counseling is almost finished, I have to do another, slightly more invasive, physical,” I paused and licked my drý lips. “I just don’t want to go by myself this time.”
Ethan gently pushed Seth off of us and pulled me up so that we were both sitting on the bed. “This is a lot to take in. A–are you sure you want to do this?”
Letting out a shaking breath, I nodded. “I’m drowning, Ethan.”
His eyebrows snapped together. “What?”
“School, money issues, working all the time… I’m getting paid a lot of money to do this and it’s enough to cover four semesters of school.”
A small scowl started at the corners of his mouth and rippled to his forehead. “If you’d just accept my help and stop being stubborn I’d pay for everything. You wouldn’t have to work and you know I have my own money, so it’s not like you’d be taking from my
parents,”
“I love you, but I’m not your charity case.”
He heaved an irritated sigh. “Don’t look at it like that. Look at it as an investment in your future. I’ll even make you pay me back if that’s what you want.”
2/3
Bang–lish [2/2]-1
“Ethan, please, let’s not talk about that again, okay?”
