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Seth whispered something in Ethan’s ear and the heart stopping–smile he shot Seth made me ache, but it wasn’t like the burning lava of lust from before, this ache was different. I
bit my lip, shifting my watery eyes down. It was hard to breathe as I clutched my chest. My heart was heavy; feeling like it would dislodge and drop to my feet at any moment.
The acidic churn in my stomach intensified as Seth skimmed his teeth along the curve of Ethan’s jaw. Knowing full well I should leave, I lifted my gaze back to them scowling
because for the first time in my life I wanted to yank someone’s hair out.
Okay, maybe I was exaggerating a bit. I didn’t want to hurt Seth or Ethan, not really. But
the longing to belong: for it to be okay for me to go in there with them, to be there
between them…
Should I interrupt? Would they get mad?
The gentle, encouraging smile Ethan gave Seth spoke volumes. This was supposed to be a
private moment between.real lovers. It wasn’t supposed to include a best friend Ethan and
Seth occasionally indulged.
The sharp pain that radiated through my jaw, from gritting my teeth, made me gasp. Jealousy wasn’t pleasant; in fact, it was downright painful. I could feel it eating away at
- me. And what was worse? I didn’t have the right to be jealous. I knew what I was getting into when I asked for this. Didn’t I know I could never fully belong to them?
Was it even right for me to want that in the first place?
Leaning my head against the door, I watched them exchange tender kisses. With a smile, Ethan kneeled in front of Seth, lapping at the streaming water clinging to Seth’s rippling stomach muscles as he went. When his knees settled on the tiled floor, Ethan thrust his
face forward, but seemed to be in a teasing mood and pulled a few inches away at the last minute. It was clear he wasn’t going to give in easily as he tongued the tip of Seth’s dick. Seth’s arms darted forward, slipping through Ethan’s wet hair, pulling him closer, but Ethan resisted, offering a teasing, come–hither grin instead.
“I wanna fuck your mouth,” Seth said with a guttural growl.
Oh shit. I took a step closer, close enough to see more clearly, but not close enough to
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step onto the damp tiled floor. My feet would not leave the shaggy carpet of Ethan’s
bedroom.
Definitely not.
Ethan’s eyes glinted with mischief as he tilted his head to the side. Biting my lip, I swallowed as lingering traces of that ugly emotion burned away and shifted to mild arousal tweaking between my legs. With care not to be loud, I let my knees collapse under me. I curved into myself, dropping my forehead to the tan carpeted floor, fighting an internal batter of ‘should I stay or should I go?‘.
“Who’s stopping you?”
Huddled down on the ground made it hard to hear the muffled excitement of Seth
encouraging Ethan forward, but I still managed to get the gist.
“God, I love you.” Seth’s laugh transitioned to a chopping high pitched gasp of pleasure.
Talk about a bucket of cold water. That mild arousal tingling in my stomach vanished. It
was one thing to hear them having sex without me, but to hear Seth, of all people,
throwing out ‘I love you’s‘ just wasn’t expected. Seth was stone cold when it came to words of love and adoration of the ‘I love you’s‘ nature. Him saying it now just helped me realize the truth once again.
You knew this is how it was going to be, Cassie. Don’t be butt hurt.
I thought I knew what I was doing anyway. Being above this whole ‘love‘ thing used to be
my forte. The girl most likely to never fall in love was me. Given my past, it was hugely
understandable to everyone too. Yet it happened, right underneath my nose. I loved Ethan in that way… and maybe Seth too.
I wanted them to love me like they loved each other.
My lips parted at the realization and I inhaled sharply through my nose. Hints of Seth’s
cologne and pine soap from the bathroom didn’t help clear any thoughts either so I knew it was true. I still wanted him. I wanted them both. It wasn’t just about sex. It wasn’t just
about virginity or me deciding to be a surrogate. I wanted to be with them.
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