Chapter 6
January 12, 2018
Sophie left today. With Lucas.
Turns out all those promises meant nothing.
February 12, 2018
Sophie’s been gone a month.
Finally worked up the courage to call her. Lucas answered.
He said he’ll treat Sophie well.
Told me to stop chasing her.
“A girl like Sophie shouldn’t suffer with you,” he said.
He’s right.
July 12, 2018
Six months without Sophie.
Got offered a supporting role in a major film.
It’s everything I’ve ever wanted.
But now that I have it, the excitement feels hollow.
The person I want to share it with is gone.
January 12, 2019
A year since Sophie left.
I’ve spent every day losing myself in different characters.
It’s the only way to escape the emptiness of real life.
May 27, 2019
500 days without Sophie.
It’s her birthday today.
Is she happy?
Has she married Lucas? Started a family?
I wish her happiness, wherever she is.
January 12, 2020
Two years without Sophie.
I’m filming in Monterey today.
Sophie always talked about coming here.
How she wanted to experience the endless spring, feed the seagulls under clear
skies, listen to the waves crash against the rocks.
I wish I could tell her this place isn’t as magical as she imagined.
March 15, 2020
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Two years, two months, and three days since Sophie left.
I’ve been taking every role, every appearance, every chance to be seen.
Does she see me on her screen?
Does she ever regret leaving?
She said she never would.
October 18, 2020
Two years, seven months, and six days without Sophie.
Nearly died filming a stunt today. Fell from a wire rig.
In that moment between consciousness and darkness, my first thought was finding Sophie.
Telling her I’m successful now. We don’t need that basement apartment anymore. No more ramen. We could eat at Michelin–starred restaurants every night. I
wouldn’t let her suffer again.
But when I finally saw her, I couldn’t approach.
She was with Lucas, carrying grocery bags, laughing as they entered his building together.
I stood less than thirty feet away.
She never noticed me.
April 3, 2021
Three years, two months, and twenty–two days without Sophie.
Bought an apartment today.
My agent suggested a house in the hills for privacy.
Instead I chose a penthouse downtown.
Sophie said she wanted floor–to–ceiling windows to see the city lights. And heating good enough to walk around naked.
Just in case someday she and Lucas don’t work out.
She could come straight here.
June 18, 2021
Three years, five months, and six days without Sophie.
My career is taking off.
I’m accepting any script that comes my way to make more money.
My reputation is suffering.
People are starting to hate me online. The cyberbullying is worse than I expected. I became deeply depressed.
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During that time, a fan called “Forever YourCity” kept sending encouraging messages.
She’s been following me since my debut, but was never particularly active before. I only remember her because each year on my birthday, she’d write: “Happy
birthday, James. May you live a long, fulfilled life.”
Such an unusual birthday wish made her stand out among thousands of fans. During my lowest point, she was there constantly.
She told me everyone falls, what matters is getting back up.
She said I was the most dedicated actor she’d seen, that even in bad scripts, she
could see my commitment. She felt my passion for acting and promised I’d win an Oscar someday.
She seemed to know exactly what I needed to hear.
I can’t deny it – she helped heal me.
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Chapter 7
