Chapter 182
I hadn’t yet told my mother about the decision. The very thought of that conversation made my stomach twist with anxiety, the would see through any lie 1 tried to tell, would know there was more to this arrangement.
Taking a deep breath, I finally turned away from the window and made my way to the small living room of the cottage we nove called home. After weeks in the pack house, we’d moved to this more private space at the edge of Storm Wardens territory. My mother sat in her favorite chair, knitting needles clicking softly as she worked.
“We all have to take risks to get what we want, you know that, right? I said, pacing nervously across the worn wooden floor.
My mother looked up from her knitting, her expression cautious, ‘I do, but not all risks are worth taking
I paused by the window, gathering my courage, “I and Kieran are getting married.”
Her needles stilled. “Married? But you said you didn’t like him in that way.”
“I know, but I feel like this would be good for me.” The half–truth tasted bitter on my tongue. I couldn’t tell her about the sorceress. about the power that might soon be mine. She would never understand–would try to stop me, would fear for my safety. With good
reason.
“I don’t love him, but I… I don’t know what I was thinking; I just needed to try something new.” I forced myself to meet her gaze, to appear more confident than I felt.
My mother set her knitting aside, studying me with the piercing gaze that had always seen through my childhood lies. Had he been the one who offered the marriage proposal?”
“Yes.”
“Then he does feel something for you.”
I shook my head, needing her to understand at least part of the truth. “Mom, it doesn’t matter if he feels anything; I am going to get married to him, but it all ends there; we would have our own separate room, and… I won’t go to bed with him.”
Her brow furrowed in confusion. “Then why are you getting married to him?” A moment’s pause, and then understanding dawned. “You are doing this because of him, right?”
We both knew who she was referring to, Kaius. She knew why, but she didn’t know there were more to that reason.
“Maybe, “I said genuinely, for some reason the look she gave me made me feel guilty. I hadn’t done anything wrong and Kieran had agre ed to my proposal.
“You don’t have to do anything because of him. Kieran is a good man; he deserves better.”
“He seemed okay with my proposal.”
“It’s a marriage and not a proposal. He might have agreed to that, simply because he hopes that you will change your mind as the years passes by.”
I sighed, tired of arguing. “Mom, all I need now is your support, so could you please be happy for me?”
She rese, crossing the room to take my hands in hers. “I am happy for you,” she said, though her eyes remained worried. “I just want you to be sure.”
“I love you, Mom. I just want you to know that. Thank you for not turning your back on me, even if I deserved it.” I squeezed her
1/2
Chapter 182
hands, grateful for her unwavering presence through everything.
I would never do that, but you weren’t the only one wrong; I was to, and you forgave ma
We embraced, the conversation effectively ended, though I knew she remained unconvinced. It didn’t matter. Soon, I would have the power 1 sought, and then perhaps she would understand why this marriage was a necessary step.
That night, I dreamt about Kaius once more. Unlike the nightmares of rejection that had plagued me for months, this dream held a strange intimacy, yet it was also more vivid, more unsettling.
We sat together in a forest clearing, bathed in moonlight that felt strangely alive, shifting and breathing around us. Kaios looked exactly as I remembered him, yet he was dressed differently now, cloaked in sweeping red fabric with stark black boots peeking out beneath the hem. It lent him an air that was both distant and strangely unfamiliar, despite the beloved face. His amber eyes fixed on me, the intensity still there, but now it felt questioning, laced with a confusion or perhaps disappointment–that seemed to probe the very decision I’d made. It made my heart ache with a sharp, confesing pang, even in sleep.
“Why are you doing this?” he asked, his voice both near and distant.
“Doing what?” I replied, though somehow I knew exactly what he meant.
“You don’t need this power. You’ve always been stronger than you knew.”
I tried to reach for him, but the distance between us seemed to expand with every step I took. “You threw me away,” I accused. “You humiliated me in front of everyone.”
“And this is how you respond? By risking everything?”
“I’m doing what I have to do.”
His expression shifted to one of profound disappointment. “No, Elowen. You’re doing what you think will hurt me.”
“Is it working?” I asked, my dream–self more honest than I could be awake.
Instead of answering, Kaius began to fade before my eyes, his form becoming transparent, insubstantial. I called his name, suddenly desperate to keep him with me, but he continued to disappear until only his eyes remained, watching me with that same wounded disappointment.
“Don’t go,” I whispered.
“You’re the one who’s leaving,” his voice replied, and then even his eyes were gone.
I woke with tears streaming down my face, the loss feeling as fresh as the night I’d driven away from Ravenhollow. Wiping my cheeks with trembling hands, I stared at the ceiling, wondering why my subconscious insisted on tormenting me with his face, his voice, when‘ was finally taking steps to move beyond him.
A knock at my door startled me from my thoughts.
Chapter Comments
LIKE
POST COMMENT NOW
< SHARE
