3/3
Two weeks passed by and 1 was completely nath, I might have been live but not exactly living; everything seemed to move in a blur.
The days since my suicide attempt had melted together into a hazy sameness, I went through the motions–eating when food was placed before me, bathing when led to the tub, dressing in whatever clothes were laid out, I spoke only when spoken in. I offered no resistance, no argument.
I was a ghost haunting the chambers t shared with Kalus, present in body only.
The strange thing was, no one had mentioned what happened. Not Kalus, not Frost. The destroyed rooms was repaired while I recovered, all evidence of my breakdown erased as if it never happeried.
That day, Kaius watched me from across the room as I stared out the window, seeing nothing.
Elo
“Elowen?” His voice cut through the log that had become my constant companion.
“Yes Kaius?” I responded automatically, turning toward him but not quite meeting his eyes.
“What’s wrong with you?” The question held no anger, just a strange sort of… concern?
“I’m sorry, I’ll try… To what? Be better? Be normal? I wasn’t sure what he wanted from me.
“You don’t have to be sorry for anything, you did nothing wrong,” he said, studying me with an intensity that would have made me uncomfortable before. Now I barely noticed it.
“If you are missing Frost’s company, then I could have him here
“No, is not that.” The thought of Frost barely stirred any emotion. Nothing did anymore.
“Then what is it?”
I considered the question. What was wrong with me? Everything and nothing. I thought this wast you wanted. I thought you wanted a little submissive, Luna. I want to be just that.”
His
s expression hardened. “I like when you fight me; it does turn me on
“I don’t want to be punished.” The words came out flat, emotionless
“That’s part of the fun.” He moved closer, watching for a reaction I couldn’t seem to give.
Something stirred in me then–a flicker of feeling breaking through the numbness. “I want you so badly, us.”
He looked surprised. “Are you sure about that?”
“But I feel like a traitor for wanting that,” I admitted.
“I will not force you, not anymore,” he said, his voice softer than usual. “But you need this, and maybe you hate me right now, but you don’t hate Frost.”
The mention of Frost triggered another flicker of emotion–comfort, perhaps, Safety. “How are you okay with Frost and mo…..1
“I took so much from him; it is only fair that I share with him.”
1/4
“And he is okay with this? Faked, unable to keep the skepticism from my voice.
“Oh, he is;‘t think he liked fucking you more than he should.” There was a hint of amusement in his tone, but something else ton
As if summoned by our conversation, the dont opened and Frost entered. His ice blue eyes immediately found mine, assessing. concerned.
“How are you feeling Elowen?” he asked, approaching slowly, as if alaid 1 might break.
“Better?” It came out as a question, because I wasn’t sure. Was her? Less numb, perhaps, but that only meant I could feel the poin more clearly.
I kept my distance from you… I just felt so embarrassed. Shame colored my words. Embarrassed that he had seen me at
Sorry. T
lowest.
my
“Don’t be,” I said.
“You were in pain;
1; you made a decision that you thought was the right one… I’m glad he got to you in time.
Something in his words sparked a warmth in my chest–the first real armth I’d felt in two weeks. I moved toward him without thinking, needing to be closer to that warmth, that gentle understanding.
Kaius nodded silently. “How touching, this connection between you two,” he remarked with a sardonic smile. I have no interest in watching such… sentimental intimacy. I’ll leave you to it this time.”
With that, he slipped
lipped out of the room, closing the door behind him.
Frost didn’t pull away when I pressed my body against his, when my lips found his. Instead, his arms encircled me, holding me as if I might shatter.
“That isn’t helping me maintain control,” he murmured against my mouth, but he didn’t stop.
I didn’t want him to stop. I wanted to feel something, anything, other than this hollow emptiness. His touches were careful at first, then more insistent as he responded to my desperate need for connection.
Clothes were discarded, skin met skin, and for the first time in two weeks, sensation flooded through me. The taste of his mouth, the heat of his skin, the strength of his hands–all of it anchored me to the present moment, pulling me back from the numb void I’d been drifting in.
When he entered me, I gasped, my body arching into his. The pleasure was sharp and sweet, cutting through the fog. I clung to him to the feeling, my nails digging into his shoulders as we moved together.
But as the tension built, as pleasure mounted toward its peak, it wasn’t Frost I saw behind my closed eyelids. It was amber eyes, not blue, that haunted me. It was Kajus’s name that escaped my lips as lease washed over me.
I froze, mortified by my slip. Frost stilled above me, his expression dreadable.
I’m glad he did too,” he said finally, rolling to my side. There was no anger in his voice, just quiet understanding,
“I really don’t think he would be able to stay away from you now,” he added, brushing a strand of hair from my face.
I curled against Frost’s warmth, my body still tingling with aftershocks of pleasure. His steady heartbeat beneath my car provided a rhythm that lulled me toward sleep.
“Frost…” I murmured, my eyes growing heavy.
His fingers traced lazy patterns along my spine, soothing and gentle,
I surrendered to sleep, dreamless and deep for the first time since me suicide after
attempt.
When I woke, sunlight streamed through the windows, warming my skin. I stretched, feeling muscles that had been knotted with stress finally relaxing. The space beside me was empty, the sheets cool to the touch, Frost had been gone for hours.
I sat up, pushing tangled hair from my face, and noticed something the nightstand–Barbara’s Fantasies, the erotic novel I’d smuggled from the library weeks ago. I thought I’d lost it during my destructive rampage before my suicide attempt. I reached for it, turning the worn volume over in my hands.
“There’s a lot to learn from that one single book.”
I startled at Kaius’s voice. He stood in the bathroom doorway, a towel slung low around his hips, water droplets still clinging to his chest from his shower,
was about to return it back to the library,” I said, holding up the book, hoping to distract from my
hint of amusement crossed his face. “There’s a lot to learn from that one single book.
“You should have it back,” I offered, extending the book toward him.
discomfort.
“Not yet; I really love this book, maybe even as much as you do.” He approached the bed, his movements fluid.
I swallowed hard, suddenly very aware of my nakedness beneath the sheets. “Kalus… let’s talk.”
He paused, something cautious flickering in his eyes,
you ready for that?”
I nodded, clutching the sheets tighter. “Yes, I am so sorry for what aid to you. I said it to hurt you, but I didn’t mean Your mate was a blessing. I should never have brought her up. I should never have used that against you, and I am so sorry. Could
n any of it.
you forgive me?”
To my surprise, Kaius’s expression softened. “Oh Elowen, don’t cry. You were not the only person who said something very wrong. I knew the story of your mother, and I was going to tell you either way, but I didn’t mean to be that harsh on you.”
Tears? I hadn’t realized I was crying until he mentioned it. I wiped at my cheeks hastily.
“How did you know about that?… my mother I mean,” I asked, voice thick with emotion,
Kalus moved to sit on the edge of the bed, careful to maintain some distance between us. “Isaw it. I was a child then, but I knew about this woman–she was younger then, but she had been my father’s favorite; she was exactly his type, the stubborn ones that hardly ever submitted; it would be much more fun to break her. But then father decided she was no fun anymore, I stopped seeing her. There were others after her too, but it was strange how she seemed to have disappeared and was never talked about anymore.”
The casual way he referenced my mothers torture made my stomach clench, but I forced myself to stay focused.
“Kalus… how old are you?” The question slipped out before I could stop it.
1/3
“Thirty and two, he replied without hesitation.
I blinked in surprise. “You are over a decade older than me.
“No, I’m not. His eyebrow raised slightly.
“Isn’t that against some law?” I asked, trying to keep my tone light despite the seriousness of our conversation
His lips quirked into a half–smile. “Just in case you didn’t know, I am complete lawbreaker.
“You look really young, I observed, studying his features.
“I do believe it’s part of the Alpha gene. I’m well aware that I look maybe a decade younger.”
I hesitated, gathering my courage. “Can I ask a question, Kaius?“–
“Depends on what it is?”
“Did you pick me because you discovered who my mother was to this pack?”
Something shifted in his expression–surprise, perhaps, that I’d cut so quickly to the heart of the matter.
“Yes. A few years ago, I saw this file belonging to your mother. I had almost forgotten about her, but for some reasons, I wanted to know where she was, what she was doing, and if she was finally free got all the details even before I visited the Mistwood pl But then I saw you, and things got even more interesting. I knew everything about you too; that’s how I knew about Dorian, your ex–mate. I had paid an anonymous visit to the pack more than once, and I did like watching you.”
A chill ran down my spine. “You knew my mother was a slave there, and yet you waited for me to bring it up?”
“Yes. It would only make me a creep if I told you that I know everything about you; I knew you would get to that.”
My mind raced, trying to process this new information. “She says you want me here… as some kind of punishment for her running
away.”
“Go on,” he p
prompted, his face unreadable.
“I don’t know; you’ve never given me any reason exactly, and her perspective seems quite logical.”
“Do you think that’s why 1 want you here?”
I considered the question carefully. “Why?”
He sighed, running a hand through his damp hair. “After I took over as the Alpha, I ended the slave trades; now our captives have i choice. Do you know why?”
When I didn’t answer, he continued.
“Because I never wanted another woman to be treated the way your mother was, ever again. Elowen, I’m not trying to get back at her.”
Tears welled in my eyes again. “I feel like a fool for blaming her; if only she told me earlier…“
“Hush, Elowen, Everyone makes mistakes, but I’ll rather you blame me for that. Seeing you in there… in the tub, I wondered what
ld have happened if I didn’t get to you fast enough; I would have lost you too, his voice broke slightly.
Chapter 76
The mention of my suicide attempt made me flinch. I hadn’t thos
“And it would have been entirely my fault. Maybe then I’ll let you reason her child committed suicide. I never really thought it wou never do that to yourself again.”
The raw pain in his voice startled me. I’d never heard him sound
“I promise, Kaius. The words came easily, and I meant them.
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The mention of my suicide attempt made me flinch. I hadn’t thought he would bring it up so directly.
And it would have been entirely my fault. Maybe then I’ll let your mother do with me as she pleases; after all, I had been the reason her child committed suicide. I never really thought it would get to that, but you have to promise me, Elawen, that you will never do that to yourself again.”
The raw pain in his voice startled me, I’d never heard him sound so vulnerable.
“I promise, Kaius.” The words come easily, and meant them.
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