Chapter 48
Blaise’s POV
A muscle clenches in Cole’s jaw. He stays silent, watching the peaceful night.
“Not because I don’t want to.” I continue, feeling my heart thud harder. Why is it scary to be vulnerable? Especially with someone like him, who has always tried to cut me down. Even if he did it to keep himself safe from further hurt. His father fucked him up. and Cole still carries the scars under his ink. Meanwhile, I’m just faulty.
“I just can’t…feel.”
Cole is still looking out the window, his knuckles bloodied.
I zip my dick away before climbing to my feet and hobbling over to the bed. “Fuck,” I snigger, flopping down beside him. “You got me good. My ribs hurt like a motherfucker.”
His lips curve, and he tears his eyes away from the window to look at me. Then he shoulders me, and we chuckle. “You’re an asshole. You know that, right?”
“Yeah…” I wet my lip, tasting blood, but I can’t stop smiling. Something warm spreads through my chest when he looks at me this way. “You’re an asshole, too.”
This time, when he laughs, I smile so big my cheeks hurt.
We fall silent, watching each other. The urge to kiss him strikes me like a boomerang. I clear my throat and look anywhere but directly at him.
When he sighs out and looks down at his hands, I swallow thickly. What is he thinking about? I hold my breath when he shrugs.
“You say you can’t feel…”
I stay silent, my heart thrashing madly.
I feel now.
“I don’t believe you.”
Staring at the side of his face, I sweep my gaze over his sharp jaw. Why does he hold this much power over me?
He focuses on his fingers–his nailbeds. “You wouldn’t have defended me the other day if you didn’t.”
“I don’t think you’re weak,” I rush out.
His brows furrow as he nods, looking pained. “I know…”
“What scares you, Cole?”
He pauses and looks up at me, his blue eyes flicking between mine.
I lower my gaze. “You don’t have to answer.”
His attention burns the side of my face for a moment longer before he sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. “Being alone.”
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Chapter 48
When I don’t answer, his chest expands on a shaky breath. “I don’t know how to explain it.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I know…”
I lift my gaze to his face, and he smiles weakly. “I fear being alone, I push people away. Ironic, isn’t it? I’m alone because I don’t let anyone close. I guess…” With a shrug, he screws up his face. “I guess it’s easier to push people away than face rejection. People have a way of hurting you in the end.”
I study the side of his face, craving more of his truth. Fuck, I’m falling for him and the pain he exudes with every breath.
“How about you?” he asks as he rubs his neck!
I answer without thinking twice. “I’m scared to kiss you.”
He stills.
I stare at the doorway. Why the hell did I tell him that? Some truths should stay guarded. This was one of them, but now my truth is out there, searching for a way past his impenetrable walls.
The ache in my chest burns brighter. “You need a villain.” I meet his eyes, letting him see what lurks beneath my own surface. “I fear being the hero.”
A myriad of emotions flickers in his eyes–emotions that are as foreign to me as the whisper of his breath on my lips.
Like a tidal wave pulled toward his sandy shore, I press my lips to his. I don’t even think as I invade his space. Cole stiffens, but he doesn’t pull away. Maybe he’s too shocked. A small part of me–one of pure longing–wants to believe his heart beats as frantically
as mine.
He’s not breathing or moving a muscle. I kiss him harder and tentatively reach up to cup his face. The moment my fingers graze the stubble on his cheeks, he pulls away. It’s not a sudden move. He doesn’t wrench away like the thought of kissing me repulses him+ it’s a subtle move, a slight tilt of his jaw, but he could have just as well smacked me. I feel dazed, disoriented.
“Don’t,” he says, his voice cold and detached.
Outside, the snow sails through the air.
Peaceful.
Soundless.
Cole stands up without another word and walks out, leaving me behind to swallow down the hurt lodged in my throat. The door clicks shut. I fall back onto the bed and dig my fingers into my eyeballs. “You stupid idiot. What the hell is wrong with you? Why the fuck did you do that?”
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