#Chapter 16 Stage Fright
After auditioning 45 of the 79 applicants, we ended with a grand total of zero female lead candidates. The other 24 decided against trying after I refused Alex’s dating prospects for the 17(th) time.
My throat still hurts from all that yelling.
Tired and without any progress, the drama club members grumble in frustration. Alex also looks put–off, but he’s got his arm around me, using me as some sort of PDA squeegee.
The club members give us a bit of a stink eye as I try not to self–combust in
embarrassment. Hailey does, too, though she’s more playful about it. My phone vibrates as Jonathan start talking about another female lead plan.
““won’t have anythin to do with him again‘ you said. d__8”
“shut up”
“make me (0°)/
I prepare to reply to Hailey, but Sophia speaks up, raising her hand. Apparently, Jonathan has been taking suggestions. I wasn’t paying attention—
“Well, why not Cynthia?”
…But I am now.
“I mean, Cynthia and Alex helped us rewrite some of the plot, so she knows the story as
well as the writing team. Plus, she’s dating Alex. That could make Lynus and Claire’s romance more real, right?”
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#Chapter 16 Stage Fright
“No.”
It’s not Jonathan that says that. Nor anyone else.
“Cynth?” Alex asks, looking down at me with his brows furrowed.
“No,” I say again.
I slip from Alex’s arm and stand up, immediately walking away before anyone’s disappointment can try to convince me otherwise.
+25 Bonus
I expect lunch to be awkward, but Alex seems to understand there’s a landmine attached to my refusal.
We’re eating the lunch, Alex chatting about whatever come to mind, talkative as always. But not once does he bring up the play or drama club.
A part of me is glad he’s so thoughtful. But another feels guilty, especially since I suggested
that he play the male lead.
Or maybe that bad feeling is just the poorly heated lasagna.
“I have practice today,” Alex hums, eating his packed lunch. It’s bare bones–raw vegetables and grilled chicken–but it looks tastier than mine. “Wanna come watch?”
“…I guess so. Yeah.”
Oliver never invited me to practice. So, honestly, I don’t know anything about hockey.
Still, Alex expresses interest and participates in what I do. I should return the sentiment.
So, after school, I put on my jacket and head to the hockey rink. The cold air hits my nose,
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and I bundle myself up closer, walking to the top right bleachers.
As I do, I avoid the group of girls sitting in the middle set who are giggling amongst themselves, watching the rink.
It’s just a practice session, of course. There’s no game today, but they split up into tears. However, the practice doesn’t look like how I expected.
The players split up into teams of three and use a handheld ball to pass to each other. They must get the ball into the other team’s net for a point. But, if someone holds the ball for too long, the ball must trade teams.
Once again, Alex glides across the ice with such ease. It’s as though he’s a heron flying over a still river, forceful and graceful at the same time.
When it’s his turn to play the ball game, he constantly leads them to victory.
His verbal or nonverbal cues ensure his teammates know what moves he’s going to make. Even though the opposite team knows his cues, his prowess helps his miniature team win by a landslide.
Their coach seems pleased by their progress, giving them a break. Alex slides out of the fik, the group of girls from earlier cheering for him. However, he doesn’t seem to pay attention, looking around until he sees me.
He immethaely bryptens up and waves. “Cynth! C’mon down here!”
I briefly consider not doing that. I feel glares aimed my way, the girls turning hostile. But Before I can deny him, he’s gotten his skates off and makes his way up the bleachers.
Alex takes a hold of my backpack for me. “Need some help coming down?”
“…Y–Yeah. Thank you.”
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“No prob! I’m glad you could come! It’s cool–looking, right?”
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He starts chatting about hockey and skating as he leads me down, getting me a front row seat so I can watch closely. Those girls from earlier huff and grumble, but then they leave, throwing angry looks at me.
“Didja see anything you think I could work on?” Alex asks me, his eyes bright.
I startle a bit. “…Uhm…no? T–To be honest. 1, uhm, don’t. Know…much about…hockey. Or, uhm, skating.”
“Eh? Seriously?”
The way he sounds, I might have well said I didn’t know what sliced bread was, I just nod in
reply.
“Huh. Well…” That smarmy grin of his spreads on his face again. “We’re going to Melbourne Park after practice. Okay?”
“Why, t–though?”
“You’ll find out, no worries,” he hums, putting his hand on my head and ruffling my hair. He laughs when I shoo him away.
“…Didn’t you j–just spend over an h–hour skating in the cold?”
“Yeah, but you didn’t, and now we’ve got to fix that!”
I got his car instead of taking mine to Melbourne Park. The trees in the area still have fairy lights hanging from them. Most importantly, we’re at the outdoor skating rink there, a few people in the small town already going in circles.
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“Wh–What do you mean I didn’t?”
Alex gets behind me and starts pushing me toward the rental booth.
“You’re my girlfriend, right? What kind of hockey captain girlfriend doesn’t know anything about ice sports?”
“I think I m–manage.”
“Nope! Let’s skate. I’ll teach you the basics.”
I want to protest further, but I’m just about speechless as he says my shoe size for me. When did he ever find out what size I wear?! The booth cashier looks chuffed, giggling as Alex excitedly drags me away.
Nothing is cute about this! I’m being kidnapped! Forced into skating!
But…he’s involved in my drama stuff without complaint. I can at least try…
Of course, I almost eat shit immediately upon putting my skate–clad foot on the ice. If not for the death grip I have on Alex’s hands, I would fall.
“…Deer legs. Your legs…” He snorts.
“Quiet, you.”
He easily skates backwards while helping me keep my balance. I’m nearly crouched to the ground, legs bent and shaking.
“Good, good. You’re in a good stance for if you fall.”
“I’m going to fall. And die. And it will be your fault.”
He has the audacity to wheeze.
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As Alex forces us to make a full circle around the rink, he chats like he usually does. I listen in, trying not to think about the cold, cold ground waiting for my face.
My hands feel hot against his because I’m clenching them so hard. Why does he have such big hands?
…My face starts to feel hot, so I shake my head.
“O–Okay, l–look, wha–at am I supposed to be learning from this?”
He shrugs, not minding my grip. “Whatever you feel like learning. You know, it’s just something to help you unwind. Maybe talk a little.” His gaze becomes less jovial. “Maybe… about why you don’t want to be in the play?”
Ah. Of course, he’s curious. I did walk out after saying I wouldn’t do it.
“….. It’s just b–been a, ah, long t–ime. I’m nervous.”
“Uh huh.” I don’t have to see his face to know he’s skeptical. “Is there a reason you’re letting that nervousness stop you when you’re even willing to try ice skating?”
…Shoot.
I try to think of something. It’s just…I really don’t want to get into it. It has a lot to deal
with stuff I don’t want to think about.
Alex is patient, though. He waits as I try to collect my words, slowly guiding us in a simple
circle around the rink.
Eventually, I find that I’m not able to fake it.
“…I don’t like…uhm. Eyes. On me. I don’t…”
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#Chapter 16 Stage Fright
It’s so hard to speak. Like pulling my face out of dried concrete.
“…I…will panic. Freeze. Attack. Uhm. Panic attack.”
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We’re silent for a good while. Then, he slows down, his hold on my hands keeping me from falling or bumping into him.
When I look up, he doesn’t seem angry. If anything, he looks concerned, brows scrunched up. But he still gives me a smile.
“I’ll be there, too, you know. We can support each other up there.”
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