#Chapter 18 Break My Bones
My blood runs cold seeing him there. Anxiety crawls up my throat like a lizard and clings to the back of my tongue, leaving a bad taste in my mouth. I realize Hailey is saying something on the phone, and in my rearview mirror, I see her car approaching.
“…Can we…..rrr–raincheck?”
“Huh?”
“Sss–something came up. Let’sss…meet later.”
“…..I guess so, yeah, we can raincheck. I’m seriously sorry about the sign, Cynthia…”
“It’sss okay. Talk to you later. Texss…t. Text me when you get home.”
I hang up the phone and wait until Hailey leaves, staring at Oliver. He stands at the door with his hands in his pockets, patiently looking back at me.
He had been my guiding light before. Now, seeing him there reminds me of someone else.
Someone older, taller…..drunker.
I get out of my car and head up to the front door. As much as I don’t want to deal with him, he’s not going to keep me from getting into my own house.
“Hey, Cynthia,” he greets. He smiles, but I don’t sense any kindness from it.
I glance up at him before walking around him.
“Leave, pleassse.
Just as I put my key into the door, he speaks up.
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“I just want to talk. Your mom’s been so happy we decided to be together, so I just…well.”
…After a reluctant moment, I turn around, looking toward the ground rather than at his
face.
“…Sss–speak, then.”
His sneakers move from the path to the door up to the little square porch shielding my door. The porch light makes his shadows darker.
“You know, I’ve seen how close you an‘ Alex have gotten. I mean, you really announced it with that sign today. Haha….I didn’t know you had it in you.” Oliver leans in, his voice sad. “But also….…….. I guess I’ve been feeling lonely. You haven’t unblocked me in your phone yet. You even unfollowed and blocked me on Instapost. So, I mean, I know coming here might be a bit, eh…..weird. But what else could I do?”
Leave me alone like I wanted. But I suppose thinking about what I want is the last thing on his mind. I’ve been realizing that over time.
“…Hey, you know. I’m happy for you, in a way.”
What a confusing statement, considering what he’s doing. I glance up at him from under my bangs, only to see his green eyes alight with underlying cruelty. Either I hadn’t noticed it before, or I willfully ignored it, but it’s very clear now.
“I mean, when I became friends with you, you had no one else but me. Your dad would just beat you ‘til you came up with constant lame excuses about how clumsy you are, and no one wanted to be around you because you can’t speak. But look at you now….hanging out with the hockey captain and making sex jokes in public. I mean, your dad did call you a slut, so I guess he was right on that front, but hey, I’m glad Alex accepts you for what you are.”
My teeth clench as he whispers, backing me into my front door.
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“But he’ll get tired of you eventually. Just like your dad did.”
I want to throw up.
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“Me? I’ve been around from the get–go, haven’t I? We’ve been friends for years….I know everything about what he did and said to you, and I accepted you willingly. I’m still willing to, even now. I feel like I’m being really nice, especially for how you’re treating me… But it’s alright. I’ll be here when you’re ready to come back. And if you’re really that desperate for me to kiss you and…eh, you know. Then…I mean, I guess we can prep for that.”
My tongue’s a concrete slab in my mouth. Even if I wanted to say anything…just like back then, I—
“…Cynthia? Mmh…that you at the door?”
I hear my mom’s tired voice from inside the house, and my heart stops in my chest. Oliver brightens up and opens his mouth, ready to call out to her.
My bag smacks against his face.
He stumbles back, surprised by the sudden move, and looks at me with shock, holding his
cheek.
I still can’t speak. I know my voice isn’t going to come out even if I try to make it do that. My fingers curl tightly on my bag as I raise it again, holding my house key tightly between the fingers of my other hand.
I manage to whisper a single word.
“Danielle.”
It’s a threat. I’m not used to giving those, but it leaves me easier than I thought it would.
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Apparently, it’s good enough. His lips purse as he lets go of his cheek.
“…I’ll talk to you later, Thia.”
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By the time my mom opens the front door, her voice slurring with drowsiness, Oliver’s already gone.
“Wha… Hon, did the key not work? Come inside.”
I stand there, unable to move for a moment, before I force my body to work, going in.
“Erh…Cynth? You alright?” Alex asks. “You kinda look like shit.”
We’re supposed to be practicing at drama club today, sequestered off in one of the back quiet rooms. But I’ve been staring at the same line without saying anything. I just can’t
seem to get my body to work like I want today.
Then again, I didn’t exactly sleep much last night.
The nightmares I used to have came back full force after that…talk.
“…Poor sss–leep.”
“Yeah, I can tell. Your eyebags have luggage.”
“Mm…”
“…Hey, I’m gonna get some water. You can just chill for a bit.” When he leans toward me, I try not to clam up. “And if you happen to take a nap, I won’t tell anyone.”
He winks, but I can’t match his energy.
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#Chapter 18 Break My Bones
“…Hm.”
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He seems a bit dejected, but just stands up and says he’ll be back. Then he leaves the room
with me sitting alone, the script sitting in front of me.
My head hurts. I’m tired. I feel like I want to sleep forever.
As my eyes close, the throbbing headache I’ve had since yesterday cools just a bit. Maybe I could lean down and just…rest my head on my arms. Alex’s suggestion for a nap probably
isn’t a bad idea…
My phone vibrates, and I open my eyes blearily. I’m still sitting up, but…I really was
genuinely about to sleep.
Maybe it’s Alex. There’s a few vending machines nearby, and though he says he’ll get
water, he sometimes gets sports drinks. Maybe he’ll get me one or something.
I pull out my phone and check my messages…
But it’s not Alex.
It’s a text from an unknown number.
“Does he know about you?”
I know who it is immediately, and I’m suddenly so awake that everything hurts.
“Does he know what your family says about you? What your aunt did? How everyone but
Miss Liz abandoned you…not that she knows. You haven’t told her either.”
My face feels hot, my vision starting to blur.
“I know you won’t,” a new text says. “No one will believe you. Alex definitely won’t. But I’ll
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listen to you, like I always have.”
Another ping.
“You don’t have to build a relationship on lies.”
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I immediately chuck my phone at the wall, listening to it crack against it and clatter to the floor.
The chair I was sitting in falls back, smacking on the ground.
I…can’t breathe.
My chest is curling in on itself and squeezing me. The pain is immense.
I just…
The lights in the room are too bright.
Under the table.
It’s dark there.
I crawl under. Curl my fingers in my hair.
Lava pours down my cheeks.
I taste blood from the inside of my lip.
I don’t hear when Alex comes back.
I only realize he’s returned once I see him in front of me, brown eyes wide and shocked. He
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Chapter 19 Brook My Bones
asks me something, but my hearing is still shot, ringing.
I can’t say anything. I’m never able to when it matters.
My face turns and presses into my knees so I don’t have to see and I can stay in the
darkness I desire.
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…A few moments later, I’m surrounded by the scent of pinecones. Alex’s arms wrap around me and he holds me close. As the ringing in my ears starts to calm down, I can hear his heart beating faster than usual,
He’s…warm.
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