#Chapter 30: For Yourself
While I accepted Alex’s invitation happily at the time, once I get home, my eyes truly open.
There’s no way any of my current clothes will be good enough for me to wear to this dance. It’s supposed to be black–tie optional, not semi–casual, and just about all my clothes are semi–trash. The outfit I managed to put together for the movie was basically fool’s luck, but that’s entirely too casual for this dinner party.
I realize, with startling clarity, that there’s no way I can go when I’ll be so severely
underdressed.
I start to panic a bit, emptying out my closet. Maybe there’s some magical dress or something I haven’t worn in a long time? Maybe it’s tucked away, like, from a funeral or
something…
No, actually. Since Mom and I got ousted from the family, we’ve had no funerals to go to.
So I can’t even put on a black ensemble and act like it’s black–tie optional and not meant
for the dead.
I’m truly shit out of luck.
“Hhhhaaaaagh…”
Okay. Okay.
Calm down, me. Maybe I can fit my mom’s clothes. Maybe she has a formal–ish dress or
something…
Nope. She’s 5′ 3“. I’m 4‘ 11“.
Fuck.
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As I panic over the inevitable embarrassment–whether that’s because I have to cancel on Alex or arrive severely underdressed–I get a text message. Who the hell is it? I’m too busy
realizing the futility of going to this party that, for, like, the first time ever, I wanted to go
to!!
I turn my panic into rage and practically throw myself at my phone, swiping on it to see the message. It’s not from Alex, but Hailey.
“come outside bf (*°°*) ”
Eh?
What does she mean “come outside“? We haven’t made any plans to meet up, much less go anywhere. Just to be sure she’s not joking with me, I go to the door and slip on my shoes
before peeking outside.
Sure enough, she’s parked outside, standing halfway out her car as she gestures to it.
“Get in bestie, we’re going shopping!”
…Well, I guess that’s an option.
Hailey was invited to the dance and dinner as well, by Lenard no less. Despite just meeting, they really hit it off during and after the movie.
At least, that’s what I’d thought. She and Lenard actually had some history, going to the same schools previously and interacting several times. Turns out Len was also pining after her for a good while, but he hadn’t had the courage to shoot his shot.
Even so, when Hailey straight up asked if they wanted to go out, he agreed. Now they’re running with it, almost like they’ve always been dating.
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“We’re going to wear matching colors! He looks so good in blue, and of course, I look good in anything” She drags me from her car to a discount dress rental shop. “You should totes
color coordinate with Alex, too!”
“Uhm…”
When we enter the door, many rows of colorful dresses assault my eyes. Somehow, the little brick and mortar shop looks bigger on the inside than it did outside, with the long metal clothing racks only slightly claustrophobic. The dresses at the front of the store seem to be their pride and joy, given round racks and more spacing.
She rushes in, almost forgetting to greet the store manager before beelining to the area
with many shades of blue dresses. I stand at the door for a good minute before deciding to
follow her and not block the entrance.
I haven’t really told her, but I don’t have much going for me as far as a budget. She doesn’t
either, but she doesn’t seem to have as tight of a limit as I do. Instead, she freely searches
in the discount section, looking for a good rental to use.
“Hrmm…this is too light for the season. I think. I know it’s March, but it’s not April, y’know?”
“I guessss?”
“Yeah, you’re right. Mid to dark is the way to go… Maybe a good royal blue. Oooh, that would be so good.”
I laugh a little, leaving her be as I hover nearby without really adding too much input.
The different dresses are a bit overwhelming, if I’m honest. And even on discount, just glancing at the price tag gives me pain. One dress is $159 to rent, and there’s not even a
chance to own it.
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My budget is, at most, about $120. Even this discount store is calling me poor.
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I sigh, feeling a bit depressed as Hailey picks up two royal blue dresses, asking a worker if
she can try them on.
“Found anything you like yet?” she asks, turning to me.
“Ah, no, not yet. You go ahead, though.”
“Alrighty. But do give a glance around. I’m sure there’s something that’ll catch your eye!”
She then hums, prancing off to the dressing room. Once she’s in, I just take a seat near a viewing area. Although the workers glance at me and ask if I need any help, I just shake my
head and thank them.
There’s no point in me looking at all…
“Comiiing~”
When Hailey exits the dressing room, she’s in a royal blue knee length V–neck dress with long, airy sleeves. Even though her hair’s still in a loose braid and she’s still in tennis shoes, she still looks more elegant, posing and twisting in front of the mirror.
“You look amazing…”
“Hehe, thanks! Though… I’m actually not so sure about this one. I mean, it’s cute, but it’s giving a bit more kahj, you know?”
“I…sssuppose.”
“Still, with a few little accessories and some nice shoes, this could be the one. I think I’ll try
the other one on, though.” She leaned in toward the mirror, adjusting her hair. “What about you? Find anything yet?”
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“Ah…” I glance off to the side. “…No.”
“No? Why not?” She turns toward me. “Nothing catches your eye?”
…I don’t want to hurt her feelings by telling her I can’t rent anything despite her efforts. Mostly because I’m not even sure if that’s true. There’s a color I’d like to wear, but I’m not
sure I’d even look good in such nice clothes.
And that’s the main thing, I guess. I’m just not suited for these kinds of things. But, at the same time, I don’t want to cancel on Alex…
“…I mean, I guess. Uhm. Isss…it worth getting dresssed up?”
“Hm?”
“Like…it’sss only for a day. Orrr, well, night. And there’s no keeping the dresss, so getting dolled up for a night for a guy… I’m jussst not sure it’s worth the effort.”
Hailey’s silent for a moment, and I realize what I said could be insulting her. Like, saying she’s getting dressed up for Lenard like that. And maybe she is, but still.
“Oh, no, this is for me.”
…Never mind then.
When I look up, she has her hands on her hips, her head tilted slightly as she gazes back.
“I want to look good, so I’m dressing up for me. I mean, sure, Len’s giving me the opportunity to look cuter than usual, but in the end, I want to feel nice. Dressing up isn’t for a man or anything. I mean, don’t I look great?”
“You do.”
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“Yeah! And I feel great about it, too. So, even if I wasn’t renting anything–though I am- she quickly cuts in, eyeing a nearby worker, “I’d still be happy just to look at myself in something nice. It just so happens it has a purpose this time. I mean, weren’t you panicking just a bit ago about not having good clothes for the party?”
“Well…yeah.”
“Were you thinking because you don’t want to embarrass Alex, or you don’t want to look underdressed for yourself?”
“…For mysss–self.”
Which is true. I really hadn’t thought too much about Alex, aside from the pain of having to cancel the invitation. My thoughts of dressing up really had nothing to do with him.
“Then, I’d say that’s a good enough reason to splurge just a little bit!”
She pulls on my hands until I stand up from my chair.
“Now, go find a cute dress and take a look at it!”
I huff, a bit exasperated. But Hailey’s always been the kind of friend to try giving me a pick- me–up. Today’s no different.
“…Yeah. You’rrre right. I’ll take a look.”
“Mmhm~ Go ahead and check out those red dresses. I know you like red.”
“Sss–since when??”
She just laughs as she goes back into the dressing room, shooing me away to find something I’d like.
